November 29 2010
I get the concept of sewing a button. Sure. Kinda sorta. I’ve seen it done. I’ve been walked through it multiple times. But for whatever reason, the buttons I sew on are always the first to pop off. I’m doing something wrong obviously. And it’s frustrating because I have lots of buttons to sew.
When I took out my winter coat for the first time this season one button was gone and another had the wobble. I was like, ‘Oh yeah. I remember now. From last season. Right right. Button issues.’ In the summer, I’ll get the same deal with half my shorts. I have no idea where the lost buttons are either. I know I should just sew them back on right away– but that’s not my style. How could it be? I apparently don’t know how to sew! And the idea of bringing all my stuff to get rebuttoned all at once makes me nuts because it’ll cost $50 for all the stupid buttons at this point!
So over the weekend after a button popped off some pants I was like, ‘WTF! How is this problem not fixed?!!’ They invented buttons when? Around year Zero? (or before?) and they were popping off back then I’m sure! Nobodys got on this yet?! I know there’s been advancements like snaps and zippers and velcro– but there’s been no noticeable progress in the button world! Nor in the thread world for that matter! It’s the friggin year 2010 and you’re telling me buttons are still popping off?! Still!? I feel like if I put my mind to this problem for a few days I’d be able to come up with some kind of solution to this! Unbreakable thread. There. Problem solved. Sick of this button popping crap!
There’s got to be an easier way then sitting there with a needle and thread all pissed off like friggin Nelly Olsen by candlelight! In fact when you look at ALL the things in the world– sewing buttons is the only thing absolutely frozen in time! And still annoying me! Near daily! This is like some bullshit conspiracy by the thread industry or something! Use metal wire! There! Another solution boom done! I can ‘Facetime’ with someone across the world but my pants still pop buttons!?
Something’s wrong with this bad benjamin button bullshit!