First, Please edit this for my own anonymity, as I'm too lazy to go into my hotmail account and do it myself. If you do not edit this for anonymity, I will be very upset with you if you post it, Todd.

 

So here's a good thief story. Once upon a time I had some friends who worked in a warehouse, a warehouse full of brand new, brand name stuff. Skater stuff, like snowboard and jackets and skate shoes and belts and t-shirts and very, very overpriced jeans and all the trappings to make some little kid with too much money into a poseur skateboarding fashion god. so my friends are what you would call amateur career criminals, like they steal shit all the time and always have a plan how they're going to make a buttload of money illegally. Now the warehouse is undergoing renovations, and so therefore doesn't have an effective alarm system, although they do have video cameras. Perfect they say. Now I've studied criminals and crime in school for a few years now, casually, as part of my minor, and it's enough to make me feel like I'm a good criminal, right? So they know this and proposition me to be their outside man. ok, cool, i say, draw me a diagram and let's hear your plan. so they do, and the plan is actually pretty good, we even did a little driveby to scope the place out. the warehouse backs onto a lumber yard (kinda, but not really, I'm covering my ass a little here) and the plan is for them to collect stuff all night and have it ready to push out the back door at a certain time when no one will be in the building except them. I will hide in the bushes in front of the warehouse and tell them via cell phone when all the people have left for the coffe break so they can get the shit by the back door. then at the lunch break, i will come around back, being very very sneaky, and they will open up the door and shove out boxes.

So I dress up all ninja, as best I can, and they go to work the agreed upon day. I hide in the bushes and do my little call once the coast is clear, and all goes according to plan. By this point I'm like freaking out, because it's one thing to plan this kind of shit and quite another to be hiding in the bushes in front of a warehouse you're planning to rob, witrh people walking around right across the street who could see you and call the cops. and on top of that, we agreed that cell phone traffic would be kept to a minimum, so i hear nothing, only get to say, coast is clear and then hangup. So i wait in my bushes until everyone's back at work, all unsuspecting, and then i creep around to the "lumber yard" behind the warehouse and hide there for a while. like a long stressful while. then the lunch time comes, so i creep around to the back door. I can see a camera, and buddy told me i would be able to, and that it wouldn't be able to see me, but he's like a criminal type, like a lot more so than me and who believes that anyway? and so i wait at the door, trying to hide behind a dumpster and make no noise. and then the door down the way opens up a bit, and I think, oh, shit I'm at the wrong door. so i run over and sure enough, there's boxes coming out the bottom of the door. like a lot of boxes. I was thinking like maybe two or three, but they pushed out like six boxes, so i was a little surprised.

So i take these boxes, one by one, cuz they turn out to be really heavy on top of being a lot more than i thought, and i run them up into the "lumber yard". All good. there's still a while till lunch is over, so i move the boxes further away and then decide to hide until lunch is over, since people go outside to smoke and maybe could see me creeping around behind the building. I'm also worried about people who work in the "lumber yard", but it turns out they weren't working for some reason, so i stressed over that for no reason. Long story short, I carried these boxes off to my vehicle, one at a time, which took like a couple of hours, again trying to be all sneaky the whole time, and got away and met up with the inside guys later. I got a bunch of clothes, which was good because i was super poor at the time and free is free, and i sold some of what i got and made a little money. that's my thief story. all in all, an exhilirating experience, but pretty crazy. BTW, I live in Canada, so everythign was frozen at the time, and i stepped in a frozen puddle up to my knee with a heavy box of stolen crap and made al ot of noise. nerve wracking.