YOU STOLE! ADMIT IT! WRITE IT UP! CONFESS! share? nice?
Hey tOdd, it's me dman again. Here's some thievery. Love
what you do! Brightens my day! Good vibes to ya.
Not proud of this but I got a taste of what I had coming to me: My ex-wife used to work for Wally World (wal mart) but at that time she was my GF. Well, they were dicks to her, not that that made it right, but it did make stealing from them more satisfying, fer shure. Plus, I knew from her what their "system" was security-wise so I planned accordingly. They would only nab us thieves once we physically walked out the door b/c otherwise they couldn't prosecute. They also had to, of course, be pretty darn sure the person HAD said item (for obvious reasons). So I would grab an item where there was no security cam visible and take it with me to the restroom. Once in the stall, I'd remove it from the package and hide it. I had a few places: in the toilet paper dispenser, on top of the hanging light fixture (had to stand on toilet) etc. Then I would leave. I knew if security thought they had seen me pocket it, they would get me going out the door only to find I had nothing on me. Once I had in this way acertained I wasn't going to get busted by the wally world cops, I would go back later in the day to retrieve my item and walk out with confidence and great satisfaction. I did this quite a few times over a period of a year or two but got a little too cocky one day and I didn't make the first empty-handed trip. I went straight from the restroom out the back door and two guys came running after and walked me back inside. My heart sank into my stomach, UGH! How could I be so STUPID! Anyway, a cop came to see me at the back of the store where they detained me and I think took me to the police station (I've been a few times for various reasons). In any case, I was let off the hook with a permanent ban from that wal mart (though I went back anyway once I felt it had been long enough).
Ah.What a wasted opportunity to make those wally world guys look like total confounded asses ! If I had only stuck to my system they would have found zip! Then again, if that had happened I might have gone on stealing and gotten into some real trouble later, too.
I never stole again except, come to think of it, I did sorta steal something from another wal mart a couple months ago! I don't know if it really counts though. I only bypassed their returns system a little. See, I have this trash can with a popup lid from wally world and if you close it too hard the damn springs fly off into the great blue yonder. So eventually it happened that I couldn't find one springs and the lid wouldn't work without it. So next time I was at wally world I simply removed one of the springs from a lid on the shelf and kept it. I was thinking it was justice because they shouldn't have sold such crappy trash can lids and forced 5 year old third world kiddies to make em nice and wally world cheap. The hope was they would undergo the inconvenience of sending the lid back and PAY dammit! Reality check: It was kinda dicky of me really b/c someone probably bought that lid and had to bring it back. Oh well, I guess I'm just bad to the bone.
-A hardened wally criminal.
KEEP THE STOLEN STORIES COMING