February 18 2011
I’m a subscriber to too many magazines. And I realize today that some of these guys just gotta go.
First to end is Entertainment Weekly. It used to be my favorite magazine but over the past year or so I barely read it. Straight into recycling. I don’t know what purpose it serves anymore. This week I was invited to ‘Meet the New Superman’. Really? The Superman franchise has to recover a bit more from the last fiasco before I’m gonna get ‘psyched’ for a new anon guy playing Superman. Whatever is supposed to be funny in there usually isn’t and I think the layout is a non-focused mess. Flipping thru I see that The ‘Must List ‘ includes the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit App and the movie ‘The Eagle’. There’s an article about Chris Brown. And Gaga. No teethy reviews. Awkward questions for Jason Sudekis (What are some of the worst ways your name has been mispronounced?… Awkkkwarrd?) And a report card for Grammy performances. Katy Perry got a C+ (burnnnn) Yawn. Yeah this magazine is donezo.
Also fired is Time Out New York…
Although in theory living in Brooklyn I should wanna keep up to date on all the goings on going on. But each week this week turns out to be an annoying avalanche of subscription cards combined with a reminder of how ‘uncool and uncultured’ I am. I do actually like going out and doing stuff but I can count the amount of times I’ve probably done something based on Time Out on my ears. This week’s cover is the Ultimate Guide to Beer. I really love beer but am I gonna hop on a train to Queens to test out the brew at ‘Sweet Afton’ in Astoria? I also think the layout is cluttered and unfocused. And the truth of it is– although Time Out could be handy sometimes and the reviews are pretty good– when I have a free weekend and am itching to do something. I can just buy this thing. Other than that it’s a weekly reminder of all the stuff I’m not doing because I’m either not cool enough or too lazy.
Us Weekly. The truth is my sister-in-law gave me a subscription to Us Weekly years ago for Hanukkah because whenever I was over the house I’d be like diving into Us Weekly first thing. For years, this thing has been arriving and I kept renewing the subscription because it had a certain cheese factor. Plus, chicks dig Us Weekly (although it being here on subscription probably raised a red flag). But it’s less gossipy now and more about fashion and advertising nail polish and rings or whatever. It’s more Housewives housewivey than cheesy celeb and sometimes I don’t even know who’s on the cover. Leah and Corey? Who the fk? If I seriously don’t know who is on the cover and don’t care. It’s time for the trashola.
But I kinda feel like there might be some hidden magazines I might still want. Like I subscribed to some magazine called Mental Floss that I liked alot but then it just stopped coming and they didn’t harass me so I never re-subscribed. Are there any under the radar magazines worth getting…? Or is the whole thing slowly getting to be whatevery and whatever…
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.