TUESDAY

Gooey apple goodness

A very simple recipe for the cold winter months
You will need
1 Crockpot or slow cooker
5-7 green apples depending on size (at least 4 cups)
1 cup oatmeal (instant is fine)
1/2 sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Peel and cut up your apples into thin slice 1/4-1/2 an inch and dump
them in your Crockpot. You want it to be about half full. If you want
more double it just don't over fill it.

Add the oatmeal sugar and cinnamon and stir it all up. Now is a good
time to add extras. more oatmeal if you want. more cinnamon. toss in
some raisins or cranberry raisins. an ounce or two of your favorite
booze. Brown sugar.

Turn your Crockpot on low for about 3-??? hours and come back after
whatever you have to do out in the cold and you will have a warm gooey
delicious snack. If your Crockpot has a high setting you use that and it
will be ready sooner. I say ??? because on low it will sit there warm
for hours and stay warm without drying out.

Greg P
Lambertville NJ
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1 jar Cheez Whiz
1 stick of butter (1/2 cup)

Mix in a different bowl:

2 cans corn-- drained
2 cans creamed corn (not drained)
2 cup UNCOOKED noodles (elbow is best, shells are okay too)

Mix the melted stuff and corn/noodle stuff all together, spread into 9x9 baking dish (depending on noodle size you might have to split some into another dish). Cover and place in fridge overnight. **Don't skip the overnight part! If you do it comes out funky**

Next day--Bake at 350 in a covered dish for one hour. If you like a cruncy top take the cover off the dish about 10 min before it's done.

This is not so much a recipe, as it is a secret trick of caterers: no-one at parties pays attention to what the food tastes like, they only look at the plate. Spend 50% of your budget on your serving platters, 10% on food and 40% on booze. You can serve anyone frozen pigs in a blanket from a warehouse club if you put them on a pretty plate with fancy mustard in little bowl. Translate the name into French, Italian or Thai and you can get away with anything. Pigs in a blanket become Saucissons en Croute. Mini-quiches become, well, Quiche au Jambon (ham) / Bacon (duh) / Oignon (onion). Grilled chicken on wooden skewers with a dipping sauce of peanut butter mixed with soy sauce are Chicken Satays. Stick the non-chicken loaded end of the stick into a block of floral foam that you have put into a dish. Put plastic flowers or grass in first that are shorter than the satay sticks. Everyone likes shrimp cocktail, and you can buy a huge bag of pre-cooked frozen shrimp for next to nothing. Again, put it on shaved ice in a nice glass bowl and suddenly you're a genius. Take the sauce out of the jar and put it into something pretty. Make a cheese platter out of a cutting board with red & green grapes and those red cabbage leaves. Put strawberries on it even though people don't eat them when they're next to cheese.

You don't have to be a good cook to become known for good holiday parties. Just make sure there's enough booze for people to not notice the food, and be sure to throw out the boxes from the freezer section before the guests arrive. Have good music and pretty women in abundance. Follow the reheating directions on the boxes. Take a shower ahead of time. Enjoy the festivities but don't drive drunk!

Happy Holidays everybody!