Wednesday's Screwups!

 write one. oddtodd7@hotmail.com

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   Hey Todd, got a story for ya.

   My friend, Lauren just got a new puppy. Well, a couple weeks ago she was
playing with him in the front yard and throws a stick over into the
neighbors yard. Now, there's a fence in between their two houses that you
can't see over. So, the puppy comes back with something that wasn't really a
stick. It was more like a BAGGIE OF WEED. There was a baggie of weed over in
her neighbors yard that was, apparently, buried near some bushes. So she,
unfortunatly(jk) told her parents who are dealing with the police now.

    -Gabe "G-man" keep up the good unemployment

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Hey Todd.

Entertaining screwup for you here. Back when I was in middle school my brother bought a cool bike. I thought it was sweet....like everything he owned. So like everything else he owned (giant orange and black polyester adidas shirt three sizes to large) I went out and bought a new bike. It was amazing. It was incredible. It was THE bike! Anyhow. I was so cool right.

There was this place downtown where all the "IN" highschool kids used to hang, it was an old deserted Coast-to-Coast that used to be a gas station. Well out the front door there was a big cement slab with little cement islands where they used to have the pumps...you know what I'm talking about, they're only like six inches tall. Big deal.

ANYHOW, this one night, I was feeling lucky, was wearing the giant adidas shirt and ultra-cool baggy pants, and I decided to go riding down where they cool High school kids were. So I ride over there at top speed, and I decide to jump the little cement island thing on my bike. So I aim for the island.....my heart is beating out of my chest......crouch down........and jump up with all my might. The bike hops at least a foot off the ground and I soar like an eagle over the island....I am so proud. SO PROUD...well. That's about the time I careened straight into a plate glass window at about 30 miles an hour.......nuff said. I'm feeling embarrased just writing this.

The window was the side of the coast to coast building. The glass didn't break becuase the first foot off the ground where my tire hit was cinder-block, but my body smashed like a cartoon against the glass, and like a cartoon, i felt my body in slow motion sliding like goo down the window. At least twenty-five high school kids laughing, and a really hot HS girl leaning out a car driving by and laughing.

That's my screwup. Thank you for sharing my pain.

Clay
Custer, SD

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     This one is on my husband.......
My husband had a job some years ago working for an owner or a regional chain of restaurants.  His duties included going from restaurant to restaurant doing painting and general maintenance on the buildings.  This restaurant had daily specials, and Thursdays was Meat Loaf Day, which my husband loved but the dish gave him horrible long-lasting gas.  

      One particular Thursday, after having a lion's share of the evil Meat Loaf Special, my husband crept out back of the building for a little time alone to 'blow off some steam'.  While he was marinating in the heavy scent of his relief, one of the workers came out the back door of the restaurant for a smoke.  He stood for a minute and then exclaimed "DAMN! Day shift has got to start taking out this stinking garbage!"
My husband had to slink away to conceal his heavy laughter.

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oddtodd7@hotmail.com