Wednesday's Screwups DATING DISASTERS!

Gonna take a break from the screwups to run some dating disasters! 

 send me screwup stories! send me dating disasters!. [email protected]

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Todd:

An online dating disaster?  Hmmm...what story from the vast plethora of
choices shall I mention?

Probably the best would be this guy I started chatting with who started
trying to save me spiritually.  [in the naymuh of Jesus-uh].  Should be
noted that I believe in a Higher Power but I don't go to church--I've tried
a number of them and the whole system doesn't work for me.

He was convinced that this meant I was Going Straight To Hell, even tho' I
told him I don't believe in a Hell, but more of a
karmic-payback-in-the-next-life sort of master plan, which had him
careening off the proverbial walls.

Turns out he's MARRIED with two kids and another on the way, so I told him
to go clean his own spiritual house while doing some introspection on his
cyber-cheating and to leave me alone...

He did send a brief apology, but I started filtering anything that came
thru with his address.

You may not print this because anything religious is usually controversial,
and I know you aren't about that.  But at least you won't be feeling ignored...

Toodles and have a great weekend,

Kristy

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Ooh, Iíve got plenty! 

This one didnít pan out for obvious reasons. Met a guy online, started chatting, right away he wants my phone number so right away no more emails. After maybe 2 weeks talking he says he wants to come up from about 100 miles away to visit me, but he doesnít want to go home! He asks me if he can stay at my place! 

Um, no! (ok, Iím a prude so what)

Ok, my other online dating from hell also didnít pan out, for very obvious reasons. Years and years ago I was on AOL and this guy msgíd me so we started chatting. I had just been dumped by my boyfriend in the military and was talking about that (yeah, I know guys donít care to hear about it but whatever) so all of the sudden I get this message: ďI think I know you.Ē Iím freaked, Iím thinking itís my ex or his new girlfriend or something. We chat a bit more and I get this message: ďI saw your fish last night, theyíre pretty cool.

YIKES!

Iím chatting with my roommateís previous night one-night-stand!

Abort! Abort! Log off and disconnect and spend night at someone elseís place!

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Okay, save the best until last. M'kay?

Back in the days of the Dot Boom, I was making some sweeet cash at a
well-known telecom. I tried my hand at a dating service, thinking that this
would save time and effort on my part. One of the hottest dates I think I ever
had -- and sadly she wasn't all that pretty, but she seemed all into me -- met
me out at the famed Dave & Busters -- filled with video arcade games, liquor
and great salty food -- where I spent upwards of about $200 having great fun
and really enjoying her company for nearly four hours. We had great
conversations, something I really adore, and I thought we really hit it off.
Towards the end of the evening, I decided to ask, "So, would you like to go
out again sometime?" to my bewilderment she responded:

"I don't think my husband would approve."

I stammered, "Whaa? You're married!??" She said, all matter-of-factly, "Oh,
yeah, he's actually waiting outside." Needless to say, I sued the dating
service. I won, too. Found out later that the dating service was sued many
times (by the judge), but missed the opportunity to get final judgement. Oh,
well. Buyer beware!! If you're looking for love, go buy it elsewhere!!!

Needless to say, whenever I hear a woman whine, "where did all the good men
go?" I always chime back, "They no longer exist. We've all been corrupted by
you evil feminist witches." This, and, whenever I get that shy, demure
half-smile and princess wave from across the room, I always sneer back, "GRRR!
I dare you to care!!"

Bitter? Who? Me!? No, practical!

-B

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