Wednesday's Screwups!

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Well, had an interview last first since I peaced out on my previous job. Needless to say, I was totally unprepared seeing that I had been outta the whole interview game thingie. Plus, I hate doing all that crap your supposed to do in an interview like dress real nice and bring a pen and paper. Like your REALLY gonna take notes or something!!! Helloo??!! Your not going to a lecture, your gonna chat with someone and be all fakey and hope it will result in getting a paycheck in your near future.
So I follow the guy into his office and he says someone who works there knows me from some industry party we met at a year ago. So he calls the dude in and he says "Hey (insert my name here)! I barely recognized you without a beer in your hand and less clothes on." My jaw hit the floor. I looked over at the dude about to interview me and just gave him a "well, this interview is over" look. The interview was off to a rocky start but once I thought I may have overcome the badness that came from mister diarrhea mouth, MY F-ING CELL PHONE RINGS!!!! Shit!! Yup, I'm the moron that didn't turn her cell phone off. I pretty much covered all the things on the never do in an interview list. I'm lucky I remembered to take the damn tag off my shoes that I had bought the day before for a stupid interview that was over before it even began!! What a waste!


This screwup happened about 4 years ago. I was going to the beach with friends for a bachelorette party. On the way, there was a mini-golf place that had a sign, “Our balls are pink” so I took a picture.
A few days later, after being off for two days because of bad sunburn, I was at work and decided to email that picture to a bunch of friends, family (including my father and uncle), and co-workers. I accidentally attached the wrong picture! A friend had taken a picture of my severe sunburn that I had gotten that day at the beach, showing a lot (but not ALL) of my boobs. That’s the picture I attached.
I realized it just as I clicked ‘send’ and it was too late. It went out to just about everyone in my address book. Quick thinking led me to immediately send another email to the same group but this time I told them the previous message was a virus and not to open it. Most deleted it and the ones who saw it (about 2 out of 20 people) were close friends who just made fun of me.
Their balls may have been pink but my face was bright red!!!


(names changed to protect the innocent)

Hola tOdd,

I have a linguistics class in about 8 minutes, just sittin at the hub, and thought of this story that happened earlier this year at school that left me thinking oh sh*t.

Okay, so when I first came to school, my mom said to me, “You know, Super Shirley, you know Frederick Fantastico who your dad worked with?”


“well… his daughter goes to Penn State” (this is the bazillionth time she’s said something like that)

“Oh.. .nice..”

“You should give her a call.. make friends [blah blah blah blah]”

Keep in mind that my dad worked at the local electric company, so you can only imagine the type of people he worked with. This guy’s daughter wasn’t too far off, from that personality type either.

So I got in touch with her, actually she wanted to meet me to sell me her football tickets. Once we got talking, we told stories about our dads. We were having a nice time talking, laughing, etc. She was easy to get along with; I thought I was making my first good friend at school. Then she says to me, “.. Ha, I thought when you said ‘Frederick Fantastico’ earlier you were talking about my dad.”

“Haha no, I was talking about another Frederick Fantastico. My dad works with, like, a thousand Frederick Fantastico’s, I swear to god. Like.. all the Frederick Fantastico’s in the world are electrical engineers, and then my mom… she and nurse and works with all the Whistle Betty’s in the world. Haha that’s like the typical 80s couple or something. All the electrical engineer Frederick Fantastico’s marry all the Nurse Whistle Betty’s”

(in a really offended tone) “Hey!….. my mom’s named Whistle Betty…..”

Uh oh….. That’s when I could feel my face drop from an excited smile into panic mode… what do I do? What do I do? Uhh uhh… I was at a total loss for words. I managed to nervously squirt out “Ha.. oh sorry…” I think it turned out all right, but for the moment there, I was in total panic.

Then later in the semester, she was over at my room and we were watching something on the TV or computer. It was all flashy and junk, you know. And I just made the comment “Whoa… hope you don’t have epilepsy watchin this thing”

(in that same offended tone, with a pinch of anger) “Hey… my dad has epilepsy…”

Ahhh!!! I don’t even remember how I recovered from that comment, I just remember feeling like first class A-hole. But she and I hang out a lot and party together. So all’s good. J

The (4)th email from this family… hah


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