SCREWUP!

oddtodd7@hotmail.com write today.
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Hi, so

This one time, it was the fourth of July, and I was at a party at a big lake with a bunch of college guys

(I was about 17 or so).  The event of the day was inner tube rides behind the speedboat.

I was wearing a wetsuit borrowed from one of the cute older guys.  When my turn came to be towed along

behind the boat, I started to feel a lot of pain in my tummy area--

the inner tube that I was laying on was bouncing around quite a bit and I guess it upset my delicate system.

My stomach was really starting to hurt. I started to get that very bad feeling-- the feeling of the big D.

The big D was unavoidable and it was going to get me.

The only restroom facilities available were up on the top of the cliff-like lake shore,

and they were port-a-potties.  I made it up the cliff and to the port-a-potty but remember, I was in a wetsuit,

and a wet wetsuit at that.  I was starting to feel feverish and really sick from the impending big D,

and for the life of me I couldn't unzip the wetsuit.  I began to panic.

The wetsuit zipped up the back, you see, and I just couldn't get myself free.  The wetsuit was clinging.

I couldn't reach the zipper.  I was doubled over in big D pain.

The big D happened, and I was still in the wetsuit. It was horrible.

Later I was inspired to write a haiku about it. It goes like this:

Skin-tight rubber suit;
tummy ache, exploding poop!
Get this wetsuit off!!

I had to go back down to the lake, jump in the water, slither out of the suit and kinda try to wash it off all

subtle-like in the lake before giving it back.  I fooled nobody.

Fortunately everyone was so repulsed that nobody said anything to me about it.

-Poopy McPoo

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Although this happened many years ago, it's still a moment when thinking back still makes me cringe.

I was out shopping with my Mum, I went off to the CD shop to get the latest 'Boy's to Men' CD,... ( no that's not the embarrassing part...) Walked back to the supermarket trying to find mum to tell her all about the super cool cd I just bought with my hard earned pocket money.
Neither of us were paying that much attention, but a boy ...maybe ten or 11 was walking towards me, when all of a sudden we bumped into each other,... we started that crazy dance thing people do when trying to get around each other,... all of a sudden this kid just charged towards me, i some how tripped him up, knocking him to the ground,... he grabbed my arm, trying to keep his balance, bringing me down with him,.... here i was,... lying on top of this boy, with my school uniform hitched up with my underpants showing,... I couldn't get up, this kid is kicking and punching at me, trying to struggle away,...shoppers laughing and pointing at us, not offering any help., ...and to make matters worse, the cd I just got went flying out the bag and all could see my terrible taste in music back then.

Katie (Indiana Via Victoria )

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I am an RN who works 7p-7a so getting to sleep on my day off is always a problem. On a Wed evening this last Feb. I worked overtime and was done work at 2am. I stopped at the grocery store and was getting food out of my car at 3:30 am, while i was doing this the police drove by slowly in my complex. The next night I was off watching TV with my dog @ 3:30am when i decided to get the paper off of my step, it was icy and cold. Since it was so late i didn't care that i only had on a hairy dog covered top with only panties and no socks. When i went out to get the paper I slipped on the ice, fell forward and landed on my right arm, dislocated my rt elbow. Of course I had been drinking wine with my dog. I drug myself into my house and had to call 911. Of course the police that came had seen me the night before. I had to ask them to go upstairs to get my sweatpants. They were laughing as I was also. When i went to the hospital I was soo cold that they had to stick me 6 times to get an IV in. Later that evening after I woke up at about 6pm I needed to get my pain medication. My sister in law had stopped at the drug store when she dropped me off from the hospital...in the morning.....she is an RN also...........I could not get the "childproof cap" off of the medicine since I could not use my right hand. I started laughing and went back to bed to await my husbands return from a business trip. I am not a young person.....I did this at age 50!!!! I am still out of work.......on short term disability...........pretty fucking stupid!!!!

Mullica Hill NJ