November 06 2012
So there’s this local place I go to called Sahadi’s which has nuts and coffee and like olives and like malt balls and stuff like that. Lots of stuff in big jars. Candied Papaya and stuff.
I like to get almonds there along with Peppadew peppers which I chop up and put in tuna fish. It’s good. Also get pickled garlic which I like alot and it doesn’t make your breath smell. Brazil Nuts because some guy told me prevents all cancer. Period. All I need to do is eat one a day. Which I do. Because a random guy told me so.
Anyway, this worker guy is helping me out getting me all my stuff. I got like six things. My almonds, peppadew, garlic, brazil nuts, coffee… etc.. He used a big spoon and like plastic bags or containers or whatever. After he hands me the last thing… dude starts coughing. Phlegmy disgusting coughing as he walks away.
I stare down into my basket of goodies now totally disgustified. It was teeming with his grossness. I wanted to say, ‘Hey Coughie! You can have all this stuff back along with your contamination…’ But then I thought it was being too much of a germphobic. He used a spoon and all. He only touched the outside of stuff. But I’ll touch the outside of stuff too! Stuff I will touch before I eat. It’s not like he made me a sandwich but why buy stuff covered in gross germ stuff?!
But I also can’t exactly put everything back on the shelves because everything was done up specifically for me. I guess I could have just dropped it and walked out. But I wanted that stuff! There’s been times in the past when I’ve thrown away whole sandwiches because something gross happened but I was too embarrassed to say anything — but I wasn’t gonna throw all this stuff out.
And again, this time I was too embarrassed to out myself as a total germaphobe. I bought everything. It’s hard to say, ‘That guy coughed up and now I don’t want anything…’
But the truth is, there’s a truth to not getting in touch with people when they’re sick! There’s a far less chance you get sick! Since I’ve been using Purell everyday… I get less colds. Since I became more germphobic barely ever touching a bathroom door knob. I get less colds!
Bottom line is embarrassment or no embarrassement, if you’re a food server and you’re all coughie. Please stay home. It’s gross.
I’m gonna eat a Brazil Nut now because some random guy told me to! I just googled it! Now I’m stuck with them!
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.