August 24 2011
(I posted this briefly a couple days ago and then felt weird about. And now that the announcement came out yesterday that Jobs was stepping down as CEO I was sort of glad I took this post down. Bad taste or whatever. But it was weirdly timely that I posted it the other day considering the recent news. Not sure what now. So imagine this post isn’t here…)
So I’ve been reading for a while that Apple doesn’t donate much to charity. (Plus, they make things difficult or impossible for charities to create fundraising apps). Apple might through some ipads around here or there but for the most part they seem like a pretty stingy company in terms of giveback. Like Bill Gates does alot of stuff and runs around with mosquito nets or whatever– but Jobs? Apple? What do they do?
Before you go thinking there’s no excuse– here’s a theory. I’m suspecting Apple may be funneling all profits into one source. One single priority project. I’m thinking in the secret backwoods at Apple, all resource and revenue is going into one Jobs driven project. A robot. As we know, Steve Jobs is unfortunately very sick and that must certainly piss him off to no end. All these resources. All this technology and genius and money– and he’s constantly distracted by his ridiculous failing body? Sucks. No doubt there.
I gotta think a guy like that is obsessed with creating a robot where he can transfer his brain and live forever (or at least another 100 years or so). This may sound like an obnoxious joke but I honestly believe there’s some project going on where Jobs can transfer out. Why wouldn’t he?
Also, how complicated can it really be? Brain goes out. Brain goes in. Turn on switch. Sure, at first it might be one of those robots that work like Captain Pike from Star Trek– but that would be just a start. Beta or whatever. And he’d still be able to work his magic from his new body locale.
So my prediction is that soon it will be revealed that Apple is hard at work at some Brain Transference Operation Project (or B-TOP) to become iJobs– and sometime in the near future (probably around the time of the iPad 7) — a black turtlenecked robot will come out in jeans and present the latest and greatest thing. Himself. And we’ll all understand why Apple could nowadays qualify for an episode of Hoarders– hoarding all its money like Scrooge McDick.
PS. Info about Apple and charity is here
Get to the catch area and then head off towards the end zone to try and score a touch down!
You are a battle marine from the future that has been sent back in time to change the future.