Lick the turkey all over
Spray paint ‘Turkey Killer’ on your host’s front door
Leave an Upper Decker (poop in the toilet tank)
Bring a drunk porn star as a date
Vomit on purpose on the tv
Step on a stink bomb in the kitchen
Urinate in the freezer
Don’t say anything except accusations at people for farting
Steal all the remote controls in the house
Get in the host’s bed and demand to be served there
Go around serving people sweet potatoes using your hand as a spoon and guest’s heads as the plates
Grab both legs off the turkey and open the front door and throw them out on the lawn
Show your butt to the table
Keep one finger in your nose the whole time
Say “What? Speak up!” after everything anyone says even if they’re yelling it.
Say, ‘Oops!!!’ And then get up and push a lamp off a table.
Light a joint at the table
Drop the turkey on the floor and then put your foot on it..
Spill a full glass red wine on the carpet. Then later that night do it again.
Steal the host’s tv remote controls and their car keys.
Boycott utensils. Including serving utensils.
Wear tighty whities and a bra outside of your clothes.
Don’t speak at all. All night. Not even hello or goodbye.
Anytime someone tries to tell a story interrupt say ‘we’ve all heard that story’ and change the subject..
Every 5 minutes insist that it’s snowing.
Interrupt every story by yawning and saying, ‘Speed it up… what’s the point!?’
Wear a T-Shirt that says ‘Big Wang Here!’ with an arrow pointing down.
Do a stinkbomb in the kitchen.
Chop down the tree in the front yard.
Go into the host’s medicine cabinet in their bedroom. Take all the meds out. And go downstairs and ask what each one is for.
Do donuts with the host’s car all over the neighbors yard.
Ask to see someone’s cellphone. Then bring it to the bathroom and throw it in the toilet.
Say, ‘Oops!!!’ And then dump a full glass of wine on their dog.
Start a food fight starting with the whole turkey.
Insist you can’t hear anything twice a minute all night.
None of the above!
All of the above! I dislike everyone!
