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The Irrational Fear of the Address Label Psycho

So today I headed up to the Yankee game. Friend of mine got awesome seats thru work! I ate an $8.50 hotdog and it tasted like a $3.00 hotdog at best. Was fun to watch Yankee kick Royal ass from three rows back! Here's a picture I took from my seat!

(Tough name on that guy. Click to see). Yes, I'll post Pictures for the Week later this week after I've gathered up smore.

Anyway, it was a long subway ride to the game so I took a couple magazines with me. Time and Mental Floss. I take magazines on the subway with me all the time-- but I never throw them away. I always just leave em on a bench or whatever. I feel there's all these people standing around waiting for trains all day-- somebody might appreciate a free magazine.

I'm not sure if I could ever go in on picking up a 'used' magazine because I'd have a fear of touching a stray booger stuck to one of the pages or phlegm goo from a sneeze or something. (If that happened I'd have to run home and boil my hand in Lysol or something). But I'm sure there's people out there not as paranoid as me about that stuff.

Anyway, there's one thing I always have to do before leaving a magazine lying around all willy nilly. I have to rip off the home address label and throw it away. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. But today I took a look at why I was bothering to do that. Why did I bother to rip off the address label? When it comes down to it there's only one rational reason I can think of...

The psycho. The psycho who will pick up my old magazine and see my name and address-- and something will click for this person that will suggest that they come to my house and do up a big psycho super surprise for me. That my address was put in their path for their own "reason". That they'll be the sniper guy who 'really hates these cans' from The Jerk.

Other than that there's nothing else I can think of for ripping off the address label. What's a normal person gonna do with my address info? Nothing. Plus, everyone knows you have a much better chance of snagging a personal psycho just walking around town. The chances of your psycho finding your magazine with your address and shoving both levers full steam ahead into crazyville is just... crazy to think.

Put it this way, I'm more than willing to leave a whole bundle of magazines on my curb every recycling day! Right in front of my friggin house! A commute free stalk! And who knows where they end up...

But today my irrational fear of the random psycho didn't keep me from ripping off the labels once again.

Better crazy safe than crazy sorry I guess...

ok bye!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

meh, not so crazy Rosenpants for you see, there is sometimes info on dem dar labels which would allow anyone to call the subscription doods at Mental Floss and say 'hey, I done moved, send my mags to yadda yadda now'.

And then, you would have nuttin to read. Roscoe would have nary a scrapbooking page. His origami? kaput.

The more you know.

sez jo

8/17/2008 9:34 PM  
Anonymous sm said...

I would do the same thing in your position. My own irrational paranoia is my address on Mapquest instructions that I've printed and left in my car. I HAVE to turn the page over so that anyone looking into my car won't see my address. In fact, I won't let anything with my address on it showing inside my car. I guess if I didn't have a car, I'd apply the same paranoia to the subway.

8/17/2008 9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Todd. Post some more stories from that stupid cunt rag Mr. Deng. That filthy bastard sucks cat piss through a crazy straw but he makes me laugh.

8/17/2008 10:07 PM  
Anonymous illbill said...

I've always found it odd that the magazines in the doctors office have the adress blacked out, but if you try really hard you can make out the address of the office you're sitting in!!!!!!!!! make's no sense to me....

8/17/2008 10:39 PM  
Anonymous weeze said...

lol kuntz


8/17/2008 10:49 PM  
Anonymous Jinxbymeacoke said...

You don't want this guy finding your magazine, tODD

8/17/2008 11:40 PM  
Anonymous Annegret said...

I graduated high school with a chick with the last name of Kuntz. Yes, very unfortunate.

8/18/2008 1:00 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

What is mental floss?

8/18/2008 8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a fear that someone might pinpoint you and your address for littering in the subway? That could be a reason, too. I'm not calling you a litterer; I leave my magazines (addresses removed also!) in airplane pockets! I figure New York Magazine is way better than Skymall!

8/18/2008 9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are totally normal to do that. Besides they could get alot of your personal information and get your identity. Don't worry about the psycho thing, you'll have a psycho at your door when the time is deemed appropriate and not by your own doing. Is there someone at your door, or was that noise coming from the window? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

8/18/2008 12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How are people "walking dumb?"

8/18/2008 12:51 PM  
Blogger Alison said...

although I pretty much have to agree that I'd like to have faith in the normalcy of most people, who would do absolutely nothing with your address... I was a flight attendant for two years, and I can't tell you how many people would leave their OWN magazines on the airplane, address quite visible. I ripped all of them off when i found them, and then put the magazine (minus address label) in our reading rack at the back for new passengers to enjoy.
Quite frankly, i'm also very nervous about the endless possible outcomes of a psycho with an address.

8/18/2008 6:03 PM  
Anonymous Nikki said...

While I personally think leaving a magazine for someone else to read is thoughtful, and reduces trash being thrown away... But there is always that jerk who calls it "littering". And that's the kind of crazy person who would hunt you down to TELL you it's littering...

And that's the kind of person I work very hard to avoid, the last thing you want to do if give them your home address.

Keep tearing them off.

8/18/2008 10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats a good idea. i kill people when i find their address on the subway.

8/19/2008 8:33 PM  

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