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Let me state for the record, I do not own a cell phone, have never owned a cell phone, and will for as long as humanly possible not buy one.

Ever noticed that 90% of all the grips that people have are with cell phone providers? Here’s an idea: get rid of your cell phone! Or just disconnect your service. We as a society have survived a LONG time without the “convenience” of a cell phone. How many times have you used your cell phone in an emergency (aka the REAL reason for a cell phone)? The rest of the time, all the cell phone users do is piss people off, drive slowly, act important, and generally puts whoever happens to be in the general vicinity of the user in a bad mood.

Case and point, I was in line at Subway (you can change the name if it violates any copyright or libel laws) and this 20 something girl was on her cell phone in front. Other than annoying the hell out of me with her mindless dribble (what are you wearing, what did you do this weekend, what are you going after work…you know, life altering questions), she was putting everyone in line (and it was a long line because it was $3.99 foot long day) ill at ease. So after waiting in line and listening to this failed cheerleader (no offense to cheerleaders, but she had that annoying “clueless”-type diction) for approximately 20-25 minutes, we got to the front of the line. Now, in the past 25 minutes, you would think that she would know what she wanted….but you would be wrong. Not only did she not know what she wanted, she told the counterperson to “hold on”, complete with the one finger up, and went back to talking on her phone about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Trying not to cause a scene (or at least one that could get me arrested), I snatched the phone out of her hand, closed it, handed it back to hear, and politely asked her to “order her fudging food”, with my own carefully selected finger up in the air.

This elicited not only an enthusiastic round of applause from the line behind me, but a free sub.

And the other day on the way home (a 23 mile commute), I did a little statistic gathering:

Of the 40 people I passed on the way home (mostly highway driving) – 27 of them were on their cell phones – 57.5%

Of the 27 people on their cell phones, 23 of them directly affected me in some way (going slow in the passing lane, swerving while driving due to dialing, not noticing the frickin light turning green!) – 85.2%

Of that percentage, who was lucky that I don’t own any weapons and/or keep them in my car – 100%

If you use this, please call me The Boy of Winner’s Circle Productions.

Hey ya Todd!!!!!

Man I’m sure you’re gonna get TONS of these, but I have to say the thing that annoys me that very most is people slowing down traffic or driving like an idiot because they are talking on their fu#king cell phone!!! And it always seems to be women!!!! I am by no way shape or form a sexist, but statistically speaking, at least here in the Boulder Colorado area you see more women talking and driving than men. One weekend while driving up a very busy street, I counted how many men vs. women I saw with their pieholes filled with their damn phones.. I saw 18 women vs. three men. I’m not sure if that is national trend or not, but it is here :) Makes me wish that my car came equipped with big Vegas style sign, you know like the ones you see at the Mirage and what not telling you what big acts are there. So I could type out HEY!!!! HANG UP THE PHONE LITTLE MISSY AND DRIVE LIKE A PERSON NOT ON LUDES!!!!!!!!

Ok I feel better now :)

Your pal




Hey Todd!

I see you have a ton of messages from annoyed cell phone users. I just wanted to add that I agree with the letter about AT&T and Cingular. I had AT&T and it was awesome! I always bragged it up to my friends and people I talked to about how great the service was and how I had a great plan. I would hear commercials on TV about people complaining about their cell phone company always having dropped calls, and I thought...what the heck is a dropped call? I loved AT&T, but I really wanted Cingular because of the Rollover factor. Then when I heard they were merging, I was ecstatic! The best of both worlds!...or so I thought.

It started out all great, until all the technical stuff was finished transfering I guess. Then I started finding out what dropped calls were. No service where I used to have great service. There are even times when I can't even make a call, for no aparent reason, just no service in places where I always have service.

Plus the customer service rep was a total dick when we signed up for our new plans and got new phones. I was asking him questions about how to use my phone and all he could say was: "That's why they include a big manual with your new phone, it's all explained in there." Just because it was almost closing time and he wanted us out of the store...but we first had to make the sale so he got his flippin' commission.

If it weren't for the contract, I'd have been long gone by now. The only place I don't hear a lot of complaints about is US Cellular...I think I'll try them next...after another year of hell that is. I never reccommed Cingular any more, I always try to warn people about them, I hope it sinks in! Thanks for listening!

Trisha in Iowa


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