So the other day I was at the Farmer’s Market buying up stuff. And one of the things I picked up was a big bunch of carrots. A dozen or so carrots with the green fro tops and everything! The carrots had caked dirt on them too! Farmer style! Full blast nature!

I was psyched for these super fresh carrots. I’m sort of burnt out on the bags of mini-carrots. They don’t taste right anymore. They sorta seem coated with slime and there’s a tang of bleach on em or something. They used to be ok but recently they’ve gone wrong. Plus, I always resent the sneaky orange stripes on the plastic bag they come in. The sneaky stripes make it look like the carrots are more orange than they are. Bullshit shenangigans! Next time you pick up a bag of a carrots look at the sneaky fake stripes! Sneaky fake stripes!!! You can’t fool me you carrot f-ckface a-holes motherf-ckers!!!! I see your orange shenangignangs!

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