February 11 2011

Do Doctors Think About Stuff?

So anyway, I’m heading in to see the doctor in the next couple of weeks for a physical. And during the physical he will put his finger in my butt. Always awkward. It’s like we’ll talk about this and that and then he’s basically like, ‘Ok enough blah blah blah. Let me look at your wang and feel your nuts then I’m gonna stick my finger in your butt. Ok?’

Thing that I was wondering about is– What’s it like for the President’s doctor? Like Obama has to get a finger in his butt sometimes, right? So in the moment when the doctor has his finger in the President’s butt is he thinking, ‘LOL! I got my finger in the President’s butt! He might be the most powerful man in the world yadda yadda… but I got my finger up his butt! ROFL!’

Do doctor’s think about that stuff in general? Like, if the doctor is some guy and some hot chick walks in for the first time— Is the doctor thinking like, ‘Cool! I get to totally see that chick naked! In like ten minutes! Boobs and everything! I get to squeeze em! LOL! Awesome!’

I know doctor’s are supposedly ‘professional’ or whatever and the novelty might wear off– but are they so professional that they completely block out those immature thoughts altogether? Like when horse wang (from the steamroom) goes to the doctor and drops his pants for the first time is the doctors all like, ‘Whoa! This dude is packing!’ Or if some chick has some sort of design shaved downstairs is the doctor like, ‘Look at her! With an explanation point on her woo woo!’

This is probably one of many many reasons why I’m not a doctor. Because like if say Sir Paul McCartney came into my office and I stuck my finger in his butt– I’d be all braggy at Happy Hour later being like, ‘How many people in this bar has had a finger in a Beatle butt today? Eh? Only me? Nobody with Ringo or… Booyah! In your face!’

Then again, I’m sure even if I was a doctor I probably wouldn’t ever get good enough at it to get Sir Paul to come to my office. My giggling and stuff would probably raise some concerns. But I gotta be honest– I find it hard to believe when umm… (for relevancy sake) Brooklyn Decker walks into her girl doctor’s office for the first time… There’s no way a dude doctor isn’t thinking, ‘Awesome!’ Even if it’s just for a moment before they block it out and go all ‘professional’…

ok bye!


Weezer says:

First bitches!

Anonymous says:


Amy says:

My ObGyn is and ALWAYS will be a woman

Reply to Amy says:

That’s nice. The rest of the interweb public DOES NOT CARE!

C.P. says:

Todd,I think you should reconsider the “CARTOON” you posted with this imature fourth grade level post.There are lines drawn when it comes to respecting our AMERICAN POLITICAL FIGURES and I think this crosses FAR OVER the line!I am NO fan of Obama “Hussain” Obama but I was shocked to see him portracyed this way Even IN CARTOON FORMAT!

Jeremy says:

This is America. Freedom of speech and all that. Let’s not go all “no pictures of our leaders”. Let’s think about what kind of groups do that. Relax it’s a silly cartoon on a silly web site. Is this your first time here that you are offended by “fourth grade” humor?

Concerned Pervert says:

I, personally, would like to shove a number of objects up our President’s butt.

And I’m not even a doctor. Nor do I play one on TV. I just figured, hey, he’s doing it to us. It’s only fair.

Anon says:

A bigger shithead there isnt

My Thought About Doctors says:

If Doctors resorted to immature thoughts and acted on impulse, I would guarantee that they would lose their jobs. Being ‘professional’ is a trait that is hammered into people earning their Doctorate degrees regardless of what their specialty is. Second, if a male doctor was treating a female patient and asked her to undress, the minute the guy starts acting like a horny teenager, the woman is going to know what’s up and sue him for sexual harassment. Also, even if some male doctor’s have strong moral centers, woman normally feel comfortable being treated by female doctors. Women want to feel safe. Can you blame them? Are doctors a$$holes or bitches? Yes – they’re human after all. But regardless of how poor their personality is, it doesn’t escape the fact they must keep their ethics and professionalism in check at all times.

the REAL weeze says:


Anonymous says:

Just wanted to say that I automatically skip over anything that asshole weeze posts. Anytime I see all caps I’m gone.

flora says:

I’m sure some doctors have the silly immature thoughts from time to time. However, as MY thought about Doctors just said if they acted on them, there would be consquences. Also bragging about who’s butt your finger was just in in a bar would be a huge HIPPA violation, which could result in the Dr. losing his job. (HIPPA is a strict nation wide law that promises privacy to patients in the US. I work in a hospital just serving food to patients and I could get fired if mention a patients name outside of the hospital or in a non-job related setting) Also, I’m just guessing but I imagine that any job, no matter how outlandish it is, gets old, even if you are sticking your finger in celebrity’s butts.

anthonyp says:

funny post tODD ha ha

My Thought About Doctors says:

You’re right Flora. Also to add what I said before, not all doctors are douche-bags. My Vietnamese dentist, I feel I can talk to him. I’m not intimidated by him. I have another doctor who (haha Doctor Who) I consider my mentor in all things in life. This doctor works in the High-Tech industry.

The President says:

I approve of this whats happening.

Serlady says:

CP- i think it’s strange that you have no problem posting a racially insensitive comment like yours, implying there is anything wrong with Barack Hussein Obama’s middle name (as if any of us have a say in the name our parents choose for us in the first place), and yet you still can get on your high horse about todd’s cartoon. hm.
anyway tOdd, to get back to the point, a friend of mine once had an internship with an OB/GYN and after a pap smear, the doctor brought the sample back to the lab with the statement “We Have a Fish!!” i think just like any other profession, it would depend on the person. any doctor might have a fleeting thought like that, but only a bad doctor/bad person would ever mention it out loud to friends or co-workers. totally unprofessional.

Nicol says:

It’s gross to stick your finger in anyone’s butt. It doesn’t matter how famous they are. I’m sure the doc hates doing it almost as much as the patient hates it.

Hairy Beast says:

Wow things are getting pretty serious for a butts post. I once had a woman doc do physical stuff. She commented on the fact that I don’t shave down there-all surprised like, “oh, you don’t shave?” Keep in mind I’m a dude. I said “oh, is that weird? Do most guys shave it up?” Apparently it’s the trend. Who knew? All I know is-that doc was having some “non-professional” thoughts if you catch my drift. Though, I’m sure once you’ve seen and grabbed like a million wangs and bewbs an stuff it becomes pretty whatever.

Donny says:

hehe, giggle giggle, *fart noise* HEHE.

this post brings up great questions! thanks for this what’s happening 😀

Goats says:

Shoot yourself in the face CP. YOU JACKASS.

Great post todd! great cartoon!

Jersey Boy says:

I agree because most of the comments here are ASSinine

Sam says:

Holy sh*t the president is a smurf!

nurse practitioner says:

not a doc, but do the same job… and for the most part, i don’t really think too much about the rectum/vagina/penis i happen to be examining. although it was kinda weird/gross the first few times i did it, eventually it became like any other part of the body i examine. now, that being said, most of us health care providers still dislike doing these exams almost as much as you all hate having them done. and most of the time, like the patients, we’re more comfortable doing an exam on a same-sex patient. at my job we’re even paired male & female provider so that i see the female patients & the male doc i work with sees the male patients whenever this time of exam is warranted.

Odd Todd says:


Sam says:

in the picture the presidents buttocks is blue… like a smurf

Anonymous says:

Ummm.so what should be call you now. Balding Smurf?

Sue says:

Please dont ever use “woo woo” again!!!! HOW OLD ARE YOU??

Major Tom says:

PMS much? Do you prefer that Todd resort using any of the other slang names for a woman’s vagina? Hmmmm. Calm the fuck down. This is tOdd we are talking about.

Joe says:

I wonder if when Doctors DO get naked with other people (in a sexual situation or whatever), do you think they instinctual doctoring? Like, if some woman doctor takes off some guys pants after a date, does she look for potential health risks on the dong? Or does she get lost in the moment?

Major Tom says:

You are retarded Joe. That female can make the difference between her personal and professional life.

Dr. Rocks says:

I am a certified doctor and I do take notice if a woman has nice breasts or a pubic hair style

Sh!tForBra!ns says:

I think that if I was a gynocologist and looked at a lot of… shall we say, sick pussies… all day, I don’t think I’d be SO excited in seeing the next one. Even if it’s owner was a hot chick. If a woman has a problem down there she’s going to be showing it to me. Would you really want to see rashes and discharges and stuff?

Maybe thinking the cash register sound in my head would help.

Frogger says:

Borat Obama has a nice ass!

Assman says:

I am a medical doctor and my professional opinion is that anyone who brings politics into this discussion is a booger-eating retard.

Jenna in Jerz says:

LMAO at explanation point…

Anonymous says:

You really let him do that? I’d punch him in the nose. Let them find some decent way to check our prostates. And fast. Bloody assholes… hey! haha.

Ben Dover says:

I thought that pic was America and Moobarak except it would have been a fist

Roscoe Fan says:

There’s no way a real doctor would use the term “Certified Doctor”

Ginger says:

John loves it when we play Doctor and patient.



Perv says:

I wonder about this, except in reverse, cause I’m a perv. Like, when a chick gets checked out is she totally thinking–that dude just put whatever in my vag?

ok byesies!

Answer to Perv says:

Only in porn flicks.

MsM says:

Most doctors I have been to are rather morally uptight. If you went in and they asked you how many sex partners you had in your life, and you really lost count and you said 1000, they would really get on your case. Remember these people learned how to be doctors by first practicing on DEAD people. If you talk, they can’t pretend you are dead, and that makes them have to face the reality of having to touch a live person that they don’t know that well and probably don’t like much, in parts they don’t even want to imagine much less put their finger in.

MsM says:

Perv> Usually when a doctor puts something in the whatever, its cold, covered with slimey gel that you’re going to have to wipe off, and it usually is at least uncomfortable if not painful. Sort of like having embarrassing sex with a slimey robot. the faster it’s over the better.

Shannon says:

Oh, Todd. I am disappointed in your poor apostrophe use in the title of this post. 🙁

oddtodd7 says:

can’t believe i didnt see that either thanks for the fix

Nursey nurse says:

Also not a doctor, but I do examine a lot of people and like the NP said, after a while you don’t get surprised any more.

Pandora says:

Years ago I used to work at a sports bar and this group of different doctors used to come in together about once a month. One was a cardiologist, one was something else I can’t remember and one was an Ob/Gyn doc. We got on this exact subject and I asked the same kind of question. They all said that, yes you do get desensitized to it and it becomes a “You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all.” type thing. However, they also said that when you do see something that is unusual in any extreme, you still have the same reaction in your head that any normal person would, you just can’t express it, lol. The Ob/Gyn doc said he’s seen some REALLY hot chicks that you just have to get beyond and do your job and he’s also seen some train wrecks in the female nether regions that he’d almost recoiled from.

WTF?!?!? says:

“train wrecks in the female nether regions”


WTF?!?!? says:

and speaking of train wrecks in the nether region I just took a dump so big I had to stand up to finish half of it.

Pharmd10 says:

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Stephanie says:

I have never been to a male ob/gyn and am not sure why some women prefer men. Oh well.

As for the rest-my cousin’s husband is an OB/GYN and he said when you do ten pelvic exams a day, plus the baby checks that sometimes involve checking the cervix, etc, it really is no big deal. He is looking for something WRONG, not fantasizing about sex with her.

Concerned Pervert says:

What if the patient starts moaning? In pleasure? Uncontrollably?

Or does that only happen in porn flicks?

Pharme390 says:

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Magoo says:

LOL at cartoon

The Dude says:

Come on people, have we lost our ability to be Americans? this cartoon is FAR tamer than some of the others I have seen, as well, they SLAYED Bush all over the place, yet somehow, suddenly, since Obama is in office he the POTUS is off limits?…get over yourselves, this is America! land of the free and home of “Kiss My Ass.” Thought this was a great COMEDY peice, keep up the GREAT WORK!!…

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