March 19 2013

Leave Jersey Alone!!

I grew up in New York– but my nephews and niece are growing up in New Jersey.

If you’re not from Jersey, Jersey jokes are sometimes funny and seemingly victimless or deserved. But I found out if you’re a kid — Jersey jokes on TV and in movies sort of totally suck.

Especially when you and don’t fall into the fringe category of “Jersey Shore” or “Housewife” Jersey or dbag jersey.

I remember years ago watching Matagascar with my nephews and a Jersey joke went by.

This one:

Marty the Zebra: I’ll be over here! On the FUN side of the island, havin’ a good ol’ time. A great ol’ time! A GREAT ol’ time. A yabba-dabba-doo ol’ time! WILMA!

Alex the Lion: That’s not the fun side. THIS is the fun side! Whoo! I love this side; this side’s the best! That side STINKS! You’re on the JERSEY side of this cesspool!

My nephew, maybe 5 years old at the time, gave me a confused look. (why they say Jersey, uncey tah?) I knew it was the first Jersey joke he ever heard. He didn’t get it. I realized that it would soon become clear that his Jerseynish would be an issue in one way or another.

Like, imagine you’re just a normal kid growing up in normal suburban neighborhood in NJ? Just because of where you live, you get tagged image of being mobbed up or cheesy or dumbdumb? Just for sport? Like one day, you’re innocently watching South Park and they portray Jersey people as horrible monsters — then destroy your NJ for fun? It raises inner fears…

This has admittedly made him sensitive to how people perceive his state and the assumptions made about the people that live there. He’s already consciously trying to avoid any tinges of Jersey accent — to avoid association with a Snooki or a Moltisanti.

I’m not sure the point I’m trying to make here. I get that Jersey earns it’s stripes in places. And every state has their own version of state stereotype (hey, maybe states should all have a State Stereotype… like State Flower?). Mississippi has their stereotype. Oregan too. Texas of course. Marylanders have their thing. The “Californians” are mocked on SNL. Dopes constantly talking about traffic (is that funny? i’m still not sure…) . But Jersey gets it the worst by far. Full blast from all sides. Open season. Year round.

I’m not sure what Jersey can do to fix this image problem– but I do wonder if a name change to the entire State would actually shake it off.

Like what if Jersey announced that it’s new name was…. Vermont.

Imagine Jersey announcing, “We’re not Jersey anymore. We’re Vermont now.”

And Vermont would be like, “Whoa whoa… We’re Vermont! You can’t be Vermont too!”

And Jersey would poke Vermont in the shoulder and be like, “Yeah? Whatchoo gonna do about it? Ajaxville.”

Vermont would be like, “Ajaxville?? What’s that?”

Jersey would be like, “That’s your name now, A-V…”

Vermont would be like, “We don’t wanna be Ajaxville!”

Jersey would be like, “No? Okay then enjoy living in Pusslandia, Pusslandy-ite..”

Vermont would then be like, “Wait wait okay okay! We’ll take Ajaxville! Jeez!”

Something like that? I don’t know. Maybe Jersey should use some of the famous jersey muscle to muscle a new State name away from another State.

In the meantime, if you’re a TV or movie writer… Leave Jersey alone! Jersey Shore is over! Time to move on! It’s had enough! Imagine if the worst of your home state became state representatives!

There are nice parts of Jersey! (yes, other parts too… but what state doesn’t have gross parts) The pic below is Jersey… Yeah! So suck it… umm…. Delaware?


ok bye!


Brandon says:

Where did Todd get a picture of me and my friends?

Andrew says:

Being from Florida is no picnic either but I’ll back off the Jersey jokes. I feel bad for your nephew. BTW, you need to have a kid Todd, it rocks.

Krankor says:

Fugetaboutit. Every locale gets made fun of. We used to make fun of a kid from Cleveland, the arm pit of Ohio. I don’t know of any other city where the river actually caught fire.

Cleveland is actually a pretty nice place these days.

People also constantly dumping on Detroit. I dunno, that’s a pretty easy target. There’s no sport in that.

Anonymous says:

I like how people from the east coast not only pronounce oregon wrong but spell it wrong too.

Wang Wei says:

The only reason people make fun of Jersey is because it is a cesspool. Some of the worst people on the planet come from there. Instead of trying to change the unchangeable, either grow some thick skin or move to another state.

Say my name! says:

@Krankor – for your information, Youngstown and Toledo are the armpits of Ohio, Columbus is the crusty belly button, Dayton/Cincinnati is the smelly rotted crotch and Cleveland flat out rocks! You only wish your city could figure out how to catch a body of water on fire – that takes a special talent and the rest of y’all are jealous!

bd says:

I love it right here in the middle of Jersey. The farms just a few blocks west, nice towns a few miles to the east, the shore and the bay just 45 minutes away. It’s great being a short drive from New York, Philly, mountains for some OK skiing, and the ocean (when it’s not going all Sandy on us). Still plenty of farms and open space.

bd says:

Plus we have the coolest governor ever.

Splatdatat says:

NYC has just as much if not more crummy, crappy run down broken glass, boarded up, homeless infested, junkyard looking areas as New Jersey. It’s all the same to someone looking far away. From my view, the southern part of Jersey looks nice and the countryside of New York looks nice too. Seems the big stink is NYC. But that’s the cutlure to shat your pants and then blame the stink on the guy sitting next to you.

Kate is Great says:

First off, Jersey has quite a lot of charm, its just the underdog. Secondly, Cleveland DOES flippin’ rock!

Goats says:

The cesspool jersey is pretty much limited to right outside the city–newark and a few towns around it— and bergen county is pretty much where you will find the guidos. The rest of Jersey is pretty suburban middle class non-guido/non-cesspool.

nj resident says:

f u

jtt says:

I haven’t spent much time in Jersey but I remember people dissing Pittsburgh and Cleveland when I was younger.

I spent some time in Pittsburgh and I thought it was pretty cool; no better or worse than any other city. Same with Cleveland. Maybe they cleaned up after years of dissing?

I remember asking my mom when I was a kid why people made fun of pittsburgh and she told me that Pittsburgh was one of the largest (if not the largest) steel manufacturing cities in the world and when you make that much steel, you generate a lot of smoke so the city gets polluted so people criticize it for the pollution.

Not pretty but a fact of life if we need/want steel.

Perhaps you could tell your nephews some background about NJ to show from where the stereotypes came. Then when someone talks smack on NJ he can retort with a little history.

Again, don’t know a whole lot about NJ off the top of my head but when someone disses Pittsburgh, people from there can say “well, yeah, it was polluted so we could make steel to, oh, I don’t know, WIN WWII, or build the Arch in St. Louis….

Education is the best even-upper…..LOL!

Wang Wei says:

That’s a stupid idea. As much of a butthole as NJ is, Pittsburgh is way worse. You must not get out much if you think Cleveland and Pittsburgh are no worse than any other city. I mean there is a reason it is called a Cleveland steamer. Disgusting. I’m nauseous even thinking about these damn places.

jtt says:

LOL!! Hmmm…..guess it *has* been a long time since I’ve been to Pittsburgh and/or Cleveland.

So you’re saying those two cities are worse than any NJ city? …..interesting.

And why *is* it called a “cleveland” steamer?? and not a “Secaucus” steamer….or “Toledo” steamer? did it originate in Cleveland??

nj resident says:

shut up nj is a great place

Goats says:

I can send you photos of the people i went to high school with in the 80s….scary guidos…..

TwoNipplesOne says:


Anonymous says:

Huh! I’ve always thought the ENTIRE east coast was an aging, overcrowded, overpriced craphole. Never knew easterners broke it down by state, too.

Jenn In Jerz says:

I am a Jerz resident, and am formerly from VT. While I can say we take a LOT of heat in Jerz from other states, a huge part of that comes from the television/movie perspective. How can you argue that NJ is not full of mobsters when ever 3rd person in the Sopranos was a killer, or that its not full of stupid Guidos and Guidettes if you’ve seen Jersey Shore. On top of that, many people assume that all of NJ looks like what you see from the airport or the NJ Turnpike–a large ugly port full of trucks, parking lots, factories, industrial buildings–and not the farms and gardens that fill a big portion of the state. I won’t argue that Jerz is better than anywhere (including VT), but will say that there are huge differences that should be acknowledged in a positive way. I’ve never had someone visit from VT who didn’t enjoy eating at a 24-hour diner or drinking a cocktail at 2am (everything in VT closes early), didn’t like takeout or grocery delivery instead of driving an hour to the closest store. I still go back to the country to go camping, ice fishing, and to have awesome New England breakfasts. Neither place is better or worse, just totally different. It truly does suck to get picked on as a state.

Anne says:

Whenever people are looking for an apt in the NYC area I suggest Jersey – where I live! You will find better deals on apartments in Jersey than you ever would in Brooklyn or Queens with the commute time into NYC being no different. The only drawback is that if your workplace in NYC isn’t close to a PATH station or Port Authority then you will have to pay for the NYC subway on top of the commute in.

But driving along the NJ turnpike right around the Meadowlands OMG does that area STINK!!!

Jordan "todds nephew" says:

Thanks todd it means a lot and the nets game was sooo much fun.

Sh!tForBra!ns says:

I think I’m from Jersey. I think.

Brandon says:

Makes sense. You have the asshole personality.

Wei Wang says:

STFU Brandon!

Brandon says:

You go first.

Wei Wang says:

Being an asshole suits you doesn’t it?

Brandon says:

Your just mad because someone pointed out you are the asshole here. Don’t project your failures on me, loser.

Brandon says:

OWWW!!!! OWWW!!!!! OWWW!!! OWWW!!!!!!!!

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