May 23 2011

Lunar Intelligence Dumbfoundery

So yesterday, I had a rental car and I was driving around talking on the phone with a friend of mine. (yes, I was talking on a headset). We were talking about how disappointing it is that the most exciting thing going on in outerspace right now is the last flight of the clunky old Space Shuttle. We whined about how it’s been like 40 friggin years since the moon landing etc…

Anyway, my friend said, ‘Yeah, we haven’t stepped foot on any other planet since the Moon!’


And here’s how the conversation went from there:

Me: Dude, the Moon isn’t a planet!
Friend: The Moon isn’t a planet?
Me: No!
Friend: What is it a star? It looks like a planet…
Me: The Sun is a star! Are you being serious?

(At this point, I’m rolling my eyes at the conversation. Btw this guy is a super smart techie so it’s not like he doesn’t know alot of stuff. He just doesn’t know alot of stuff outside of tech stuff.)

Friend: Then what’s the Moon?
Me: The Moon is… the Moon!
Friend: Well, the Moon has to be ‘something’ it’s not just a “Moon”. Like a “Star” or a “Planet”.
Me: I guess it does have to be something or something else– doesn’t it?
Friend: Yeah. What is the Moon?

(I was embarrassed. I wasn’t smart anymore. I thought I was smart knowing the Moon isn’t a planet– but here I was stumped in its definition. Dumb dumb style.)

Me: Like, if stars have names and planets have names– why don’t moons have names? Like ‘Bluto’ or something…
Friend: I don’t know. Maybe it’s an asteroid. But asteroids get names…
Me: Maybe it’s an… aster…round?

(At this point my brain is making fun of me for not knowing this science 101 stuff. When I parked the car I immediately googled it up and found out what the Moon is… )

Do you know? (Click through for the answer and a poll)

“The Moon is Earth’s only natural SATELLITE and the fifth largest satellite in the Solar System. It is the largest natural satellite of a planet in the Solar System relative to the size of its primary, a quarter the diameter of Earth and 1⁄81 its mass.”

Here’s a poll. Be honest.

Moon Poll

If someone asked you, What is the Moon?… would you know it’s a satellite?

Yeah. Duh. I learned this in 3rd grade.
No. Duh. I’m embarrassed not to know.
The only moon I know is made with my butt.


Bob in Peru says:

Satellites are named when a planet has more than one. Asteroids are generally numbered.
Black Holes (like Weeze) are generally ignored.

Anonymous says:

Now I’ve seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography exibits involving tennis rackets. But this. This is the greatest thing ever.

Anonymous says:


STFU says:

You are just another Weeze, no originality and a lack of pussy leads to loser repeat postings………

Anonymous says:

Love DENG IN THE WITH AN ice cream CONE !

Lorelei says:

Oh, Bob! SNAP! : )

Krankor says:

Shitty post, tODD

try again later

Guest says:

Krankor, you are trying too hard. Log off for a long while.

Good post, shitty comments.

the REAL weeze says:


Amy says:

How about seeing a movie instead of talking about the moon

Krankor says:

I can give you the short answer and say your annoying

Guest says:

Finish your sentence and then log off.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!!? says:

“Logging Off” always sounds sexual perverse.

Or is that just me?

Guest says:

It’s just you

The Moon says:

We should destroy the moon

gregory says:

i think anybodyes who voted theyre knew the Moon was a satillite is a lier

Guest says:

I think the 3rd grade teacher that said you were ready to move on to 4th grade was a liar.

Phil says:

I suspect there’s much more that eludes Mr. Gregory

nerd says:

Actually, “moon” is to the Moon as “star” is to the Sun, and “planet” is to the Earth. The word “moon” can be used as a generic term for satellite. So, Todd, you were right in a way when you said the Moon is just the moon. πŸ™‚

Merriam-Webster’s definition of moon:

1 c : satellite ; specifically : a natural satellite of a planet

(FYI, another definition:
1 a : often capitalized : the earth’s natural satellite that shines by the sun’s reflected light, revolves about the earth from west to east in about 291⁄2 days with reference to the sun or about 271⁄3 days with reference to the stars, and has a diameter of 2160 miles (3475 kilometers), a mean distance from the earth of about 238,900 miles (384,400 kilometers), and a mass about one eightieth that of the earth β€”usually used with “the”)

Moonface says:

Moons do have names. Saturn’s moons do anyway. Maybe they only get names if there is more than one for a planet.

Our moon is just the moon. It’s THE moon.

Moon Vote Idea says:

The world could vote for a name for the Moon.

flowy dress waitress says:

i only know that because I was obsessed with space as a child. i suppose it’s normal for people who had different hobbies to forget something like that. i always forget what my home is for setting the password on my fruckin wifi router. if tech stuff was my thing, that isn’t something I’d forget.

Preacher says:

We call any natural satellite a moon. We call the earth’s satillite the Moon. BAM! Todd, you were correct as usual.

I love God

God says:

I like this soup

Guest says:

What kind is it? French Onion is beyond awesome. That Campbells crap where you have to mix in a can of water, like chicken noodle, is barely soup and whomever is responsible for it should be smote.

Fat Man says:

You don’t exist!

earp says:

M-O-O-N that spells OddTodd

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