June 07 2010

Measure Twice, Cut Dunce

This morning I was getting ready for my morning walk to dog park and got my stuff together— wallet, keys, iPhone, headphones. The big three. Anyway, I don’t like the white ear buds that come with Apple stuff. I feel like an Apple douche and I don’t think the headphones are loud enough– plus I don’t like how the buds fit in my ears. So I bought these random other kind that I could jam in my ears all deep and stuff.

After a couple months, these crap headphones started fritzing and soon enough one of the ear buds (left side) was out altogether. (They’re made by Griffin. Griffin Headphones.) Anyway, this morning I was reminded again of the fact that they’re broken with the one silent bud and I got annoyed. Not only because they’re broken but because I keep forgetting I have the ongoing project of researching replacement headphones which is on the list of 50 other things I’m not doing.

So today, with both buds in my ears and music playing out of only the one good side– I got out the scissors and decided to snip off the left bud cord. I was sick of it dangling and being broken. I was gonna rock my iPhone all old school one bud 70’s transistor radio style! But as soon as I snipped through the dead left cord– the music in the right bud stopped! Dead silence! I was like, ‘WTF, I only cut off the left cord! Why did the working bud need the other bud cord to function?!’

(Yes, I know I’m not describing this well but if you follow what I’m saying– you know what I’m saying…)

Long story not short enough— there was a pretty good reason the headphones stopped working. Click through for the photo of my now totally non-working headphones to see what I snipped…

Friggin total duh. Sometimes I get scared that I’m actually top secretly very stupid…

ok bye!

PS. If you have any good iPhone headphones that aren’t the standard ones– please post recommendations below.

PPS. I know the title of this post is the best part of this post…


whynot says:

i’m a big fan of skull candy in-ear buds. they come with different size rubber covers, and lots of options. i usually get them at best buy, but here’s the website if you want to have a look: http://www.skullcandy.com/shop/all-products/headphones.html?limit=all

Chef Nic says:

Todd you are really good at shooting yourself in the foot. lol

Fluff says:

Hahaha that’s awesome.

The REAL weeze says:

That was a delightful story, thank you ever so much for sharing. Cheerio.

Proud Of Weeze! says:

Weeze i’m proud of you for actually posting a meaningful message! Keep up the good work!

WTF?!?!?!? says:

I seriously doubt that was the REAL real “Real” weeze/gunfever, but nobody cares anyway.

Also, I’ll send Todd a copy of “Home Electronics for Dummies”. The thing I learned from real life is that when an appliance is giving you this much shit, you’re just better off without it.

Susan says:

“Sometimes I get scared that Iā€™m actually top secretly very stupid.” Best. Line. Ever.

Me! says:

holy crap that’s funny as hell! Thanks for the laugh at your expense.

CaptainBob says:

i got some 14 dollar sony earbuds from best buy. Lasted three years and counting.

skine says:

I’ve had these earbuds for the last two years:


I’m not quite sure what you mean by ‘iPhone’ headphones. These have a standard 3.5mm jack, but no microphone (if that’s what you’re looking for).

Honestly, for $70, these have phenomenal sound quality. It is worth noting though, that they are noise canceling. This means that if you’re walking while listening to music, then you really need to depend on your eyes. Also, for some, sticking the things into your ears can be uncomfortable.

Of course, I’m hitting all the negatives, but there aren’t too many ways to say that the sound quality is excellent. I’ve honestly looked over my shoulder thinking that the background noises on some tracks were real.

skine says:

Oh, also, Shure has the best warranty I’ve ever come across.

Basically, if your Shure device dies within the first two years after purchase (without obvious attempts to destroy it), it will be replaced at only the cost of shipping the original product to them. Most importantly, this is not a buy-in warranty, but automatic for every single Shure product.

R N says:

That sucks.

And the Dumbass Award goes to…

I wish I could help you with your iPhone headphone situation Todd, but I don’t own an iPhone myself.

JLM says:

I’ve got a pair of Etymotic HF-2 in-ear ‘phones that are stellar. But they’re not cheap — lowest price I’ve seen is about $180 on Amazon. Worth every penny in my book, though. Really good noise blockage, crystal clear sound, very comfortable fit.

My Butt Here says:

What’s the big deal about having earbuds, they fall out, never fit right and get tangled up all the frigoon time. I still have a pair of foldy up type headphones from my sony minidisc player. They are small buds, but actually stay in and on my head, don’t get tangled and sound great. Screw ear buds, go back to the 90’s and the great mini headphones they used to have.

Knock Farter says:

I like the Skull Candy headphones I got from Best Buy. They have these rubber ends and I shove them deep into my ears and they stay put and don’t fall out. Work great when Im on the bike too.

Anonymous says:


Anonymous says:

skull candy rock. they even have ones with the iphone microphone built in.

Goats says:

Dude….that sucks. I do silly things like that all the time. Nothing to do with stupidity, but it does have to do with lack of focus and concentration (at least for me LOL). When something breaks a lot, I get fed up, and rush to a solution. I blame the weed…heh.

Jenna in Jerz says:

I have done this exact same thing before totally. šŸ™‚ You’re not stupid, just human. People do dumb shiz.

James Polk says:

welp…didn’t really think that one through haha

bad Bob says:

I use Shure speakers – again not cheap, about $150, but sound quality is amazing.

Burnsie says:

We have different sets around the house and office. My favorites are still the skull candy earbuds and they were on sale.

Vato says:


Anonymous says:

Wires are all annoying…..Go for the wireless bluetooth. Never come out….I wear them all the time.

Anonymous says:

skull candy for sure would suit you…memory foam buds

SkipJack says:

Nice job! I hate buying headphones. They’re waaaaay over-priced when you consider they’re all made by the same kid shackled to a table in Taiwan.

Anyway.. I recently bought a pair of JVC’s from Walmart which is totally out of the norm for me as I rarely buy name-brand stuff especially from a big-box retail overlord. But, these things are pretty nice! I abuse the heck out of them jamming them in my pocket and winding ’em around my iPod and they still work great.

the REAL weeze says:


Z says:

You are funny.

Anonymous says:

Sony Ear buds. 10 bucks. Not that much monay!

Have two sets. One at work and one at home. Lasting about 4 years so far.

Anonymous says:

Sony MDR-E818LP Fontopia Ear-Bud Headphones with Acoustic Twin Turbo Circuit

Copy and paste that into amazon. Best headphones.

iTard says:

You should be concerned that the only ones here defending your intelligence are the other people that have done the exact same thing.

Just stick with the official Apple ear buds. Get an Apple T-shirt. Hang up a poster of Steve Jobs. Yell, point and high-five your friend(s) every time you see a Mac logo on a TV show or movie. Proudly bask in the doucheness that is being an iTard.

Anonymous says:

Skullcandy earbuds are good but don’t last forever. Mine last 4-5 months and are $20 each at Target. Amazon has them for $10 I think.

(Optional) says:

Bummer, but that’s your karma’s way of telling you that you’re ready for a new and better class of earphone anyhoos. I’ve read and heard great things about these, and the users who took the time to rate them at Amazon had nothing but great stuff (except for a couple of carping losers) to say about them: http://amzn.to/9OFVa1

skull candy says:

keep an eye on sttepandcheap.com. Skull Candy (all different kinds) come on sale often for cheap. Its an outlet site for backcountry.com and has really good service.

J.J. says:

I totally agree with the skull candy. I buy ’em for me and the hubby, and they’re awesome!

Anonymous says:

Thanks Todd for making me feel at least a little smarter

Anonymous says:


You know that by trying so desperately to not be in the Apple cult, you’ve adhered very strictly to the anti-Apple cult, right?

Some Apple stuff (MAC, Ipod Touch) is great, but I don’t think it’s all great (I’d never buy the IPhone, and the IPad is hands-down the WORST e-reader out there).

But the mac earbuds are easily the best (barring paying a ridiculous amount of money to buy “top-of-the-line” headphones to listen to crappy quality MP3s).

Hope you didn’t throw yours out!

Dasha says:

We’re kindred spirits! And I prefer “focused on loftier things” to “dunce” šŸ™‚


http://www.walmart.com/ip/Philips-Over-the-Ear-Earhook-Headphones-SHS3200-37/9917087?wmlspartner=GPA&sourceid=44444444440231310258 says:

these are the kind i use and they last forever!

Rich says:

Klipsch Image S4i. Yeah, their pricey but very comfortable and excellent sound quality. You can save 20 bucks with the S4 which doesn’t have the iphone control buttons. The Apple headphones do, in fact, suck.

Mr Bill says:

JVC Marshmallows. Cost me $10 or 12 bucks at Wally world, 12 shipped at amazon.


These are in-ear.. you have to mash the foam pads and jam them in your ear like earplugs. Takes a while to get used to. I don’t think I would like these moving around a lot or being outside. They block out a ton of outside noise, you might get run over by a bus you didn’t hear. Also… you can hear yourself breathing and the if the cord touches you it makes noise. Totally wierd.

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