Thinking About a Pet

So since my landlord told me I couldn't get a dog I've been a little bummed about the whole no pet situation. The other day I wandered into a pet store with some friends because I insisted I was gonna get some pet of some sort. They had birds. But I decided I couldn't get a bird because of the noise plus I would want the bird out of the cage all the time so then I'd have this bird flying around my apartment all squawking and biting me and making bird poop on my head. I decided no to the bird. Then I looked at the gerbil/hamster/guinea pig/bunny family. They all looked kinda cool like hanging out and stuff but I saw myself like cleaning their cage all the time and my apartment is kind of small and I was afraid it would start to smell like a farm. However there are so many great names for little animals (like General Go-Go or Doug Llewlleyn) that it was very tempting. . Then I looked into reptiles. They had some snakes but I'm afraid of snakes so that was out. And I saw some iguanas but I had an iguana in college. His name was 'Fluffycakes' but he would always disappear and scare me that he was trapped in a wall or something. Plus we had to feed him crickets and the crickets would always get out of the cage somehow and you'd hear crickets all the time in your place and that's no good. Eventually Fluffy's legs all swolled up and he died on my 21st birthday.

Then it broke down into hermit crabs and weird things like that which could be cool but I could see myself poking it everyday to see if it was still alive. And fish I'm told are always cool for a month but then they're a pain in the ass cause you're spilling water all over the place and dealing with filters and then they always die for no reason or they get ick or one fish decides he wants to pick on some other fish and then you feel bad for the other fish or they jump out of the tank and are dead on the table and you gotta deal with that weird flake food where you never know how much to feed them and the treasure chest bubbler always makes too much noise.

So that leaves me with cats. But I have mixed feelings about it and here's why:

a. I think I'm allergic.

I was pretty allergic as a kid but the other day I rubbed my face in my friend Claire's cat to test out if I was still allergic and I felt ok. But you never know with that and I might still be allergic. If I am still allergic I'd have to let my new cat go free at some construction site or something. Or just ditch him somewhere like in an alley or something and tell him how he's an alley cat now. And be like later, cat-dude.. (just kidding)

b. I'd be that single guy with the cat.

I know I shouldn't be insecure about how it looks to be the single guy with a cat but I'm such a dog person that I have mixed feelings about the whole 'single guy with a cat' image. Plus you don't get the benefit of walking your pet around like you could with a dog to meet chicks. If you're walking you cat around with some harness or something you definitely don't meet any chicks.

c. I don't know where the litterbox would go.

There's no room in my bathroom for it. I don't want it in the kitchen. I don't want it where I watch TV or by the computer. Maybe in a closet or something. But you gotta be all scoop scoop and involved with the smelly. I'm not crazy about that idea.

d. What if the cat is a lemon?

Some cats are lemon cats. Y'know the cats that don't like to be picked up and scratchy scratch you and go crazy when you try. Or cats that throw up all the time. Or cats that fall in the toilet while drinking cause they're clumsy. Or cats that rip up all your stuff. Or cats that hide scared when friends come over.

I guess there are always risks in life. Maybe this week I'll take a chance and I'll get a cat. But if you see some guy on the street sneezing his head off, covered in shedded fur, arms all scratched up and looking miserable- you'll know it was probably a bad idea. I'll think about it..

Ok bye!