Bombed at the Vet

So today I had to take Roscoe to the vet to get his rabies vaccine. I did some bonding time with the 5 or so people waiting in the waiting room with their pets. Then Roscoe was called and he checked out fine which was coolio.  After paying my bill, I got my bill printout on paper and opened the door to the waiting room to leave with Roscoe. All the waiting room people (and pets) looked up at me. I felt like I needed to say something to the room. I looked at the printout in my hand and I got a joke idea. I held up the paper and blurted out to the waiting room people, 'I'm going to Hollywood!'

(Ummm... For those of you that don't watch American Idol auditions, when people tryout and get picked to be on the show they emerge from the audition room and say, 'I'm going to Hollywood!' or something like that.) For some reason, me holding a piece of paper and emerging to a group of people waiting- it seemed like a funny idea. Unfortunately there were like no Idol fans sitting there or nobody got it because everyone just gave me a look like, 'What?' I felt shame. Roscoe looked up at me like, 'Dude, what the hell are you talking about! You're embarrassing me!' I was surprised I said it too. It just came out.

I have a long history of having "hysterical" jokes popping into my head which I blurt out to everyone's confusion. It used to be my 'move' in corporate meetings when I felt like I hadn't said anything in too long. Like if I was being too quiet or whatever, I'd blurt out some dumb joke that would either go unacknowledged or worse... questioned as to what I was talking about. Not knowing what's funny also used to smush me in presentations. I'd try and lighten the mood with a joke and make the place darker. I once flatline joked infront of 200 people during a presentation.

I still think my Idol reference was funny but nobody got it it seems technically it wasn't. I guess I felt overcomfortable with my waiting room peers so it justified the blurt. And as I shamefully walked out the frontdoor, one waiting room woman reaffirmed my utter flopicity by saying, 'Ummm... have a safe trip!'

Uch. Flop.

ok bye!