Random Roscoe Report

If you're way tired of hearing about my dog please disregard the following:

I guess it's been a while since I wrote bout my dog so here's the latest:

Sleeping Arrangements

Roscoe has been sleeping next to the toilet less and less which is a good thing because he's been sleeping in my bed pretty much every night for the past month or so. To accommodate this, I set up my bed into two parts. One side has a striped tablecloth over the sheet and there's a long pillow barrier between us. We each have our side. At first I was sort of anti-dog-in-the-bed because of the whole pees-on-his-feet and is-dirty-most-of-the-time things. But I guess I'm over it. The tablecloth on top of the sheet at least some sort of clean factor.

He's pretty good to sleep next to but sometimes he's a bed hog. Like I'll wake up during the night and find out that our barrier pillow has mysteriously shifted giving him more room on his side. And he'll be on his back like totally next to my head. So I have to shove him over which he resists fullforce by pushing all his weight back onto my push.

Also I keep the window open a bit because he really likes feeling the breeze coming in. Sometimes I'll wake up during the night all freezing because the wind will be blowing in on my noggin. I'll go to shut the window and he'll shoot me a look like, 'Whoa! No window down! Window open!' And I'll we'll have an eyeball argument over the window situation. Sometimes he wins and I'll change directions in bed.

Once I woke up and yawned with my eyes closed and he (either intentionally or not) jammed his back foot right in my friggin mouth. That was gross.

Doggie Day Care Problem

Once or twice a week I'll take Roscoe to doggie day care. If it's raining or whatever he gets mental all holed up in here with me typing on a computer all day so I bring him to the place where he can play with other dogs. He seems to really like it there.

Now Roscoe is basically a nice dog and wouldn't hurt anybody but occasionally I'll see him take things a little too far with certain dogs at dog park. He's a good fake fighter and does the whole dog gladiator thing. But sometimes with certain dogs during the wrestling he'll get the crazy eyes and act like bully and I'll have to pull him off. Not biting or anything but a not stopping type thing.

A little while ago the doggie day care woman said, 'Roscoe had to have a time-out today.' I was stunned. I thought he was totally not a time-out kind of dog. They had to put him in a cage to chill him out. Apparently he was acting like a real dick. After a few more dick days they had enough of his dick antics and now  he always goes in the 'backpen' at day care. The back pen is the special pen for troublemaker or oversized dogs where he can't cause problems because the dogs in the won't put up with his dick moves.

It's weird. I was all embarrassed and felt like a bad dad that my dog was acting like a dick. I apologize on his behalf. And we had a talk when we got home. He's totally a smart nice dog but I guess certain dogs bring out the dickishness in him.

Words Roscoe knows:

Sit!: He sits 75% of the time.

Paw!: Usually 95%. Once he's sitting he gets it. And knows he's getting something for the deal.

Dog Park!: When I say this he knows where we're going and gets excited and pulls in that direction.

Pet Store!: He likes going to the pet store because the guy there gives him biscuits. If we walk outside and I say 'Pet Store' he'll pull me straight there. I can do this from anywhere in the neighborhood so it's weird that he sort of can sense what direction the pet store is from where we are.

No Bites!: Sometimes when he gets overly excited he play bites. The biting has gotten less and less which is cool. He's not biting for real or anything. But I've gone with a zero tolerance policy on bites.

Tabac!: There's a bar place not to far from here that allows dogs. He likes laying on the floor and listening to music. So if we're going there I'll say 'Tabac!' and he'll pull me there.

Words Roscoe doesn't know that I wish he knew:

Leash?: I constantly have no idea where I put his leash. It would be nice if he knew what I was looking for and could help out.

Lie Down!: He refuses to lie down no matter what. He's stubborn about not acting too much like a dog.

Drop It!: Roscoe picks up stuff off the street and I have to fish around in his mouth to pull it out. He refuses to give it up no matter how gross it is. Once it was a flat corroded dead mouse!

No Jumps!: Roscoe likes to jump up on people that are nice to him. It's not his fault that he doesn't understand this because I'm really lax about enforcing this law. I like it when he jumps up on me. If he jumps on someone I'll be like, 'No jumps!' but he knows I'm not serious.

Get Out of Here!: Roscoe likes to poke his head in the shower while I'm in there. Sometimes he tries to get in the shower with me.

Come: Roscoe sometimes comes when he's called but usually not and not when it counts. If it's just me and him he'll do it and come over. But once he got out of dog park (some dope left the gate open) and he went running down the sidewalk. He didn't stop when I said 'Come!' and some good samaritan had to grab him. That was uncool and freaked me out. We're working on it. A while ago I took a dog class with him for 'recall' and paid $40 to learn that the best way to train a dog to come when called is say "Come!" and give him a treat if he does. Repeat. Duh.

Anyway, it's weird that he knows any words at all because he can't talk- so I guess I should take what I can get.

I've gotten more interested recently in how Roscoe thinks in general because I started reading a book about animals that I'm liking alot. I usually don't recommend books because I don't read books really-- but I've been digging this one alot.

Anyway, that's that with that.

ok bye!