Remotes and Ghosts

Ok. Five months ago my DVD remote control went missing.

I've continuously half-assed looking for it because the remote is still very much in 'play' and I want it. I've done the rip apart the couch. Looked under stuff. Behind the thing. In the random drawer. But it just hasn't turned up. I put in a 1/8th assed effort to try and program an old 'universal' remote to communicate with my DVD player-- but I didn't even know where to start with that. (I have a theory that nobody in the universe actually uses a universal remote).

The extra problem is my DVD player sort of sucks. I got it because it was supposed to record/burn stuff off TV straight onto DVD which I thought would be coolio. But I've never been able to figure out how to make it do that. In fact I've always been confused about 'burning' stuff. I have like a mental block on it.  Like most of the time it doesn't recognize the disc. And I never trust stuff is actually really burned correctly anyway. - + R RW - CDR DVDR W Nero? I think have a learning disability when it comes to burning...

Anyway, the problem is-- because my "fancy" DVD Burner/DVD Player (made by LITEON) is built to record stuff--- it drops the ball on regular everyday features.

Like buttons on the machine!

See those buttons? (ignore my Sanyo amp from 1987 please). There's no fast forward button there! So every time I sit down to watch a DVD, I have to sit through ALL the previews and crap before getting to the menu screen! I can't fast forward! There's no SKIP! So I'm forced to sit there like a dope watching previews and the ad for the goddamn soundtrack and shit! Then when it finally gets to the menu screen I have to get up to push PLAY to start it up! Plus, I can't rewind at all if I miss something. That button on the end is just some weird version of PAUSE. So whenever I watch anything I'm in half a bad mood the whole time due to lack of control.

Anyway, last night I sat down to watch some TV and low and no-behold-- I couldn't find my regular TV remote control. I was like, 'Don't do this... Not tonight. Disappear tomorrow...' I couldn't stand the idea of having both remotes lost. Just before I went all mental, I looked on my coffee table-- and sitting there-- like back from the grave--- is the DVD remote control!! The one that has been gone for five months! Dead center. Returned. I was like, 'What the hell.... You're back?!' It was seriously eerie. Like ghosty.

Yah, I've heard that ghosts sometimes play pranks and games by moving stuff around or hiding things. And I think that's really the only explanation. A ghost took it. I kind of felt like that was ok though. I really don't mind having a caspery ghost hanging around playing pranks really. Sort of fun. Plus, having a ghost is a better excuse than just me being stupid...

But umm...  Mr. or Mrs. Ghost? If you wouldn't mind. Please return my TV remote control. It hasn't turned up yet. And I don't want to go five months again without a remote. Sort of been there done that with the lost remote "fun". Go screw with my keys or something new-- so I can watch TV like a normal again? Please?

Thank you.

ok bye!