Not Homeless but Beerless*

So late afternoon today I went to dog park with Roscoe. I didn't really dress up for the occasion. I just went out in my house clothes. Old jeans. Denim shirt which is too big with a coffay stain from the morning. Old sneakers. Unshaved.  My everyday coat probably could probably use a cleaning and its missing a middle button. I also wore a dock-style black knit hat.

At dog park, some border collie tried to "herd" Roscoe non-stop. Roscoe looks sheepish so I couldn't blame him. The collie was doing the whole shoulders hunched close to the ground commando dog thing. Then sproing and bark and chase. Roscoe got kind of muddy from his refusal to be herded.

On the way home, I passed by a bar that's dog friendly and I decided to stop in for a beer. It's kind of a divey place that I like but I don't go in there often because it's usually crowded with hipster dorks. But it was like 5pm-ish and pretty empty. I hitched Roscoe to the stool and ordered up a Guinness from the bartender guy. Then I patted myself down for my wallet. I didn't come up with it. I gave it a second go and nothing changed. It wasn't on me. No walleto. I dug in all my pockets and double searched every possibility for a stray five as I watched the bartender deal with the slow-pour of a Guinness.

But I didn't have anything on me. Not a cent. So while the bartender was letting the Guinness settle-- I called him over. I said something like, "I know this sounds like this is a thing but I don't have my wallet on me I thought I did I could have swore I did but... I might have lost it or...  I swear I just don't have any money.." I patted myself up and down twice like that proved it or something. The bartender guy said, 'No.. no I believe you. That sucks...." He looked at my dirty dog collapsed on his floor and then went over to the Guinness-- and dumped it out. Then walked away.

I stood there trying to figure out what the hell that was for?! WTF! The guy couldn't just give me the friggin beer anyway? It was already poured! Maybe people try to scam drinks sometimes-- but if I was really trying to scam him-- I would have at least tried to drink the thing before announcing I was a deadbeat! He dumped it down the drain! No skin off his friggin whatever to just give it! Plus, if he gave me the beer, I would have made a point to at least tip the guy extra nice next time I was in! Maybe even come back that night to hook him up! WTF!

Then I looked down at dirty Roscoe then at my own personal attire then back at Roscoe. I was like, 'Holy underwear... This guy might think I'm a real-life deadbeat! Like in real life!?!' I added it up. Gross dog! Missing button coat! Unshaved! No wallet! I wanted to explain to that jerk that these were just my house clothes! And that my dog usually isn't that dirty! He was just running around being a sheep! Just now! He was the sheep I tells ya!!!

... but then I whatevered it and wrote it off and wandered off. Maybe the bartender thought that. Maybe he didn't. Whatever the logic behind the bartender dumping out the beer was irrelevant to me. No explanation would change the fact that he was listed a total dickweed in my book.

ok bye!


* I take but what I said calling the bartender a 'dickweed'. I didn't get all the stuff that might go along with giving a free beer. Thanks for posting me straight on that...