Toy Story 3

So when it comes to Pixar movies I kind of judge them by how much I cry during them. Like in 'Up' and 'Wall-E' I cried a decent amount but only at the beginning. All teary within the first half-hour-- but then I didn't come close to crying for the rest of those films. I didn't cry at all in Cars. Cried a little in Incredibles. Pixar-wise I cried the most at Nemo-- which still sits at the top of the list for my Pixar faves. But my crying is joy based usually. I don't get overwhelmed by a specific sad moment then cry for an onscreen character like a girl. I cry at movies usually for overwhelming appreciation for how much I'm digging what I'm seeing.

Like when I saw Titanic in the theater I cried the hardest when the friggin stern of the ship lifted out of the water and those giant propellers were in my face with that deep groaning noise. I was totally bawling at that awesomeness. And in a movie like Unforgiven when Clint told everyone in the street that he'd kill them, their wives, all their friends and then burn their house down-- I remember a perfect sole western tear rolled down my face. Opening sequence of the Dawn of the Dead remake made me well a little. I probably cried in Benjamin Button because I hated it so much and could only sit there and cry. So that's where I stand with my crying just to be clear. Put it this way, I certainly wasn't crying when Rose let go of Jack's hand and he went all blub blub. In fact, I may have giggled a little.

Anyway, I expected to do a little crying in this new Toy Story-- especially because putting all my stuffed animals and toys in a big plastic bag and dragging them down to the basement was a big moment when I was a kid. One day (I was probably like 11 or 12), I stared at all of them and they changed from individual personalities to simply 'old stuffed animals'. Only the top two survived. My Woody and Buzz. My two teddy bears. One the old classic Teddy and 'Squeaky' who was basically the back-up for Teddy. They're both in my apartment right now. So this movie did bubble up some of those memories for me. But I didn't cry. For some reason as much as I appreciated what Toy Story 3 was doing (and I really dug it alot)-- it stayed at arms length for most of the movie. I heard the familar actors voices a little too much. And tried to guess at other voices that were less familiar. I watched the 'animation' style too much. I poked around at plot holes more than I suspected. I just couldn't let it hug me the way it wanted.

I wondered if the 3-D was causing a distraction that interfered with it having the ability to really get at me emotionally. While a movie like How to Train Your Dragon was extra delicious in 3-D-- I felt Toy Story 3 didn't need it. Although the 3-D was crisp and clean-- I do think 3-D lowers the temperature 10 degrees when it comes to emotional warmth. The glasses maybe are some kind of barrier to entry? That being said, I had no serious issues with this movie from start to finish. I laughed a whole lot. I dug the flow. Big Baby was a huge scene stealer and nonstop funny maker. Potatohead goofball hijinx got me laughing. And the plot held together in a tight way that Shrek sequels could only dream about.  Plus, it goes surprisingly dark a couple times which I appreciated (it was sort of 'wow'-- you're going there?) Also amazingly I found myself falling for the same old tricks-- like being actually nervous for the characters like, 'Oh no! Are the doomed for realzers?! Maybe this is the end?!' Like a dope.

But although it kept shooting arrows at me--none dead center. Shoulder wounds and stuff mainly. I never cried. And a day or two later this movie is fading fast. It didn't have the mental legs of the usual Pixar. Maybe because it was unavoidably unoriginal character-wise. Or maybe more likely-- I'm just done with these guys in the same way I was done with my stuffed animals. And as Andy was saying his way convenient final goodbyes-- I was ready to take these guys in a plastic bag and sadly store them away. We had our good time but it was time to move on. Fortunately, before they left they sneakily snatched the crown off Frodo's dopey hobbit head-- for best movie trilogy ever.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- Big Baby was the friggin best.
- I laughed my ass off at the first 'play time'
- I seriously couldn't believe one or two of the darker moments.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- It tugged a little too hard at the heartstrings.
- There was an unavoidable overhang of sadness throughout.
- Woody was getting on my nerves a little much.

Oh I forgot to tell you one more thing. During the movie like 5 rows up someone leaned across the aisle and got pissed at someone. Here's how the conversation went:

Guy #1: Hey! Can you get off your phone please?

Guy #2: Relax, man. Relax.

Guy #1: No! Get off your phone!

Guy #2: Relax...

Guy #1: Shut the f--k up!

Guy #2: What are you gonna smack me now?

I was sort of hoping it was gonna go to blows-- just because if a fight broke out that would mean someone would have to lose the fight. Which would mean that someone would have to walk around with a blackeye explaining to everyone how they got their friggin ass kicked in Toy Story 3. I thought that would be pretty great. Hopefully that person would have been the person screwing with their phone during the friggin movie...