Bad Santa

I've been hearing about protests against this flick for the last couple weeks. People (like stupidass Matt Drudge) complaining that "Disney" released a movie that hurts the sacredness of Santa and all that. I listened to his radio show and he sounded like a real whiny scrotum talking all about how wrong this movie is- before he had even seen it. Based on principle. Yes it's true that drunk dirty mall Santa bangs a chick in the parking lot. And does worse. But it's is rated R. It is for adults. It is marketed to adults. They're not advertising this movie on Nickelodeon or pretending that it's a family holiday movie. It's called 'Bad Santa'. It's really the last things young kids should see.... which is why I liked it. 

Bad Santa was extra good because it went for it. It let the badness soar through the sky like a glob of old yellowed mayo heading right for your face... midyawn. It's uch. It curses. It's drunk. It's dirty. It smells. It's beyond tasteless. It's rude. It's wrong and wronger. It's a showcase of awful. The friggin opening title credit that says 'Bad Santa' is accompanied by dirty Santa puking into a friggin trash can in an alley. I realize the love for the real Santa Claus runs deep for people and if you prefer to not corrupt your Santa- skip this flick. It's not likeable if it's going to damage something that is cherished to you or if flatout awfulness toward people and children is a turnoff to you for some reason. But I thought this movie was funny as f**k.

Anyway, let's start with Billy Bob. Anyone who can walk away from Angelina has to be mental- but besides that he strikes me as one of these self-satisfied wiener celebrities who walk around all day in a headcloud of delusional dickheaded greatness. But now I have a new respect for Billy. He nails this character cold. He's so submerged in mean and sour that when something good comes along he doesn't even recognize and reject it. He doesn't even see it at all. And anyone new who steps into his world leaves in a state of semi-shock because he is out of left field in terms of drunk and rude. Some lines in this movie went beyond funny and into the realm of... wow... I can't believe they actually said that. I wouldn't even laugh. I'd just sort of stare at this spectacle of terrible ...sometimes in awe of it.

You have to have a certain sense of humor to enjoy this movie. It's definitely not for everyone. It's probably not for most people. But if you can appreciate a mall Santa who shows up for work smoking cigs all drunk and smelly with his coat open and his beard hanging off who then falls into the display crushing presents and stuff then while on the ground looks up at a fake donkey staring down at him, sees it as a threat, then punches the donkey's head off while cursing... while the kids look on and scream in horror- you will appreciate this gone way sour eggnog.  And F Matt Drudge and his whining about "Disney" releasing this flick. Dick. I appreciate my sacred stuff stomped on sometimes thank you very much. And I could really care less if Disney funds it. They've made movies much worse than this- and some of those movies were actually made for kids.  

Three Good Things About This Movie

- This could have easily been one of those movies that is great for 20 minutes then beats itself to death. This movie kept itself freshly rotten throughout.
- It broke new ground of terribleness and horribleness.
- The boogernosed kid co-star had a good smushy weirdness to him. He looked like a kid from The Far Side.

Three Bad Things About This Movie

- Bernie Mac and John Ritter were weakish links (and it was sad seeing Ritter in general knowing about where he is now and stuff)
- It did get a bit one-note here and there but redeemed itself well before it got to be a problem.
- Occasionally the plot strayed too far from reality.

All in all I realize it sounds absolutely horrible. The idea of a drunk gross Santa is offensive. The whole movie is. But it was made with dark heart and twisted love for the bad- and it showed. It had such an FU-if-you-don't-like-it carefree disregard for PC which was refreshing. And as a nice side effect that made the touching moments more touching. But this movie really isn't all bad. It is a holiday film after all and I thank Disney (Dimension really) for remembering us impure tasteless people at the holidays- and for making the funniest movie of the year. Unjoy...


ps. someone sent me this cool link to disney stuff.