Catch Me If You Can

So I seen the Catch Me If You Can movie. I was wandering through Times Square yesterday afternoon and I saw it was starting in like 10 minutes so I picked up a beer and some chips and ducked into it. The theater was pretty much empty which was nice so I took like the deadcenter seat and got comfortable. But even though the theater was friggin empty these two people had to sit directly behind me. They were quiet but I couldn't stand it with them right behind me because they were all breathing and clothing rumply and stuff. Plus I felt weird drinking beer like that. I didn't want to be on display. So I moved a couple rows up.

CMIYC starts up and it his some hipster stylized credits which were kind of cool. And then like the first thing you find out is that Leo in the movie grew up in New Rochelle, NY. Which is my hometown! I was like no way! Go New Ro! In the movies! Cool! They even had a graphic that said 'New Rochelle, NY' I was like cool! Plus Christopher Walken played the dad in New Rochelle and I was like 'that's cool too!' (I think Walken can tell me stories all day long that make no sense and I would be riveted just because he's an alienfreak.)

This movie started off really strong and there were some charming laughs, great subtleties here and there, and coolio counterfeity stuff. But somehow the speed of the chase never got my heart racing beyond 'Ha! Fun! Funny!'  But it coasted along with flighty momentum and good acting performances. For the first time Leo didn't bother me by slipping into bad actordom. In this flick he actually did his best acting job ever. (ok...I'm jealous of his hair. I admit it.) And Spielberg directing did a nice job. And the movie was real nice. It was the lightest thing I've seen in a while. No real surprises.

Only a few scenes caught me off guard. Like I thought Tom Hanks character was like a straight dragnet FBI type of guy but he had this whole dark side to him. In this one scene he was in a dank room staring at a photo of Leo while rocking and mumbling obsessedlike... "gonnagetcha gonnagetcha gonnagetcha" over and over and then he slipped in a "gonnakillya"... really quick...then back to the "gonnagetcha gonnagetcha" thing. And as they zoom out you see that he's sitting there naked. Then he leans back and lights a match like he's gonna light a cigarette but he drops the match onto his crotch and this fireball rushes up. He smiles a painful eyetwitchy smile at the camera- then there's this cut away. That was a surprising scene.

I definitely liked this movie but it never moved beyond 'like'. I think I'm jaded to the point that while watching a movie if I'm not jabbed, jolted, wowed, freaked, amazed, poked, shocked, bugeyed, reminded, crazed, sneezed on, slapped, choked, yanked, bettered, deflowered, bedazzled, kissed, licked, tickled, jealoused, squeezed, wayamused, stunned, burned, patted on the head, or stabbed by it. I'm just not a totally happy kid. And this movie really just scraped my surface providing none of the above.  It was too clean and scrubbed for my bad taste. 

I really only liked the few 'private time' scenes with Hanks. Like the one where you see him in some hotel room and it looks like he's gargling and sloshing mouthwash getting ready for bed. But instead of spitting it out he just sort of stares the mirror and slowly opens his mouth. And not mouthwash but this dark red muck pours out of his mouth all over his chest. And he cocks his head and stares into the mirror. Then he starts pawing at his reflection, then pawing at his face, then pawing at the reflection and groaning the whole time. Like he was looking at someone else. That was a cool creepy scene too.

Three Good Things About This Movie

- It was definitely a good time flick and will leave you sunnyside up.
- Leo and Hanks were good in it (even though Hanks never really totally kicked in as a character for me)
- Walken is just friggin so great to look at. You get the feeling that when he acts he's just puppets himself from above.

Three Bad Things About This Movie

- It made me nostalgic for a period of time that I never experienced when all stewardesses were hot and flying seemed to be a pleasure.
- The movie was too frickin long by a solid half hour. And dipped into boring now and then throughout.
- Even though it's based on a true story it was easy to spot the bullshit that was thrown in for effect.

All in all I wouldn't rush out to see this movie. If you see it on video you won't get that 'I should have seen it in the theater at the time' feeling. It might even be better on video because it's so pausable. Plus it might come with some fun dvd extras like the ones I totally made up mentioned earlier or the alternative ending where Hanks is in a chariot being pulled by demonlions chasing Leo down the Champs Elysee and when Leo finally runs out of steam and puts his hands up in the air, Hanks says 'not this time!' and hucks a spear right through Leo's neck which pins him to the side of a policehorse that then falls over dead smushing a small french poodle who yelps once and the owner stares in disbelief still holding the leash. Then Hanks mutates to grow big flat veiny wings and as they unfurl he screams, 'Victory!! Dark Lord!!' and then flies up off and into the sun. Or something...