The Fountain

Hey! Now that I'm a big shot movie script writer guy I'm on some mailing list and sometimes get like invitations to see 'special screenings' of movies in advance sneak preview or whatever. Fancy! The other night I went to one! Free! This movie called "The Fountain". This is the first EARLY review ever on this site! This movie comes out next week! But I already seen it! Just like a Ronald Ebert or something! I'll try to go to more of em! Plus it was coolio because the director of the film did like a Q & A afterwards and people could ask him questions. I wanted to ask him an off topic stupid question about his favorite snacks or whatever but I was too shy and felt like the whole place would turn around and frown at me for being a uncoof dickface.

So umm... The Fountain. I guess this isn't the most exciting 'early' review because when I told people I was going to see this movie all early-- pretty much nobody had really heard of it before and the people that have heard of it wernt jealous of me at all. It wasn't like I was seeing James Bond early or something. Anyway, I saw this movie in a screening room which had probably like 100 or so seats. (Friggin no popcorn or nothing though! WTF!!) I didn't sneak in snacks or beers because I was nervous-- but I think I might sneak stuff in the future. I mean what are they gonna say?! I'm a big shot script writer guy now! Maybe I'm "eccentric" or something! FU!!

Anyway, I had no idea what this movie was about but I read a couple things about how it was a real pain in the ass to make. Brad 'The Penis' Pitt was onboard to star and then he flaked out. And apparently that's the movie equivalent of taking your ball and going home. Because once he walked off, the whole thing went into the swirly bowl. But the director guy pulled it back together somehow and got it through the system and refinanced. (Which unfortunately seemed to be the most amazing achievement of the flick). The director guy is named Darren Ostrovsky and he made a movie called Pie (not like apple but squiggily H type 3.14 thing). I never saw it. When I was on NetFlix I did order it once but it never made it out of the envelope and it went back. The other movie he made was Requiem for a Dream which I did like alot but didn't like love. But there are people who do love it and swear by it.

Whatever. Ok The Fountain. I'm not going to even bother telling you what it was allegedly about. Think 2001: Space Odyssey (which I do love) with extra confusion-- but involving love and death and eternal life stuff. It's one of those 'open to interpretation' artistically artsy braindump flicks. And to be honest, during the first 15 minutes of this movie I was ready to climb the wall like Spiderman and across the ceiling and right out the friggin door all upsidedown. It was eyerolly land awful.

But at 20 minutes or so, something happened where I found myself actually getting interested. I liked looking at Rachel Whites (who the director bangs btw! high five!) And I had a few moments of 'Holy smokes... I think I like really this!' But those moments were short lived. I'd get confused again. And frustrated. Eventually I just let go of any effort to logically connect the dots and watched this movie for what it was. A golden blur of genuine beauty... with some semi-interesting dramarama sci-fi gobbledygook blah blah crap mixed up in it.

Afterwards the director guy told us alot of the special effects were actually microscopic images and stuff blown up big. Coolio! So it all looked totally otherworldly which I dug alot. And I did feel like there was some goodious goodness in this flick. It was just buried under heaps of surreal effects, actorial muscle pose-downs, and babbly historic interllectuaphilosophicition. And unfortunately the golden images, glory stabs and 'deep' moments just poured over me without changing my body temperature one degree either way...

Three Good Things About this Movie

- I ain't never seen anything like it.
- There were a few scenes that I did find touching.
- At times the movie felt like it was injecting you with drugs.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- It couldn't escape being half-boring.
- Twas selfishish.
- It felt like it did backflips to hide the fact that it was kind of dopey.

All in all, so that was that. I do wish I liked this movie more because it really seemed like a ballsy type of thing I would dig. But I dug the risk involved more than the flick itself. But whatever! My first screening! Like a real movie reviewer jerk! I'll try to go to more of these and maybe ask questions of movie people-- if I can get over being unshy and stuff. And yes I'll bring my camera next time and click pictures like a real media touristy shmuck!


PS. After the Q&A the director guy said, 'Even if you didn't like this movie please tell people to see it. Because then Hollywood will make more movies like this.' And I do agree with that. So if you wanna see something that you ain't never seen before. Give it a shot I say! I do think very different state of mind people will actually dig it. I just don't personally know anybody in that state...