Rambo

We want to go up river into Burma and do good. You dunwanna go there it's bad. Yes we do! We want to do good. We're do gooders! Take us in your boat. Umm... ok but I'm telling you not to go there because it's bad... but I'll take you anyway.

Chugchugchugchugg...He's quiet. This river is... Uh oh bad guys. They're coming! Vrooooom. Keep your head down and your mouth shut! KANACHI! KALAKONO! KALA!  fwip! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG... Oh my god! BANG! Let's go. You killed them all! That was shocking! We're at the village. See you later. La la la... we're helping people... la la la...I'm a doctor! Isn't human suffering is terrible. These poor people....let's help... ssssssss.... BOOOOOM!!!! Pow pow pow.... aggggghhHH!!! Oh my god! BOOOMMMM!!!! Boom bang bam! CHOK! fwip fwip fwip....pew pew pew... AHHHH!!!! Kalachi naki! Pakee la toda! GAHHHH!!!!!! BABOOM!!! GAHHHHH!!! foooooooommm.... pop pop pop pating! Ratatatatatatatattattatat.... pok pok pok pok ... gahhhh... guh guh.... poing poin poin... BOOOOOMMM!!!!

Oh no! We're prisoners! They are bad men! They like only bad things and doing bad thing! This sucks! We should have listened to that overstuffed guy with the overstuffed face! I know!

John? John Rambo? Will you help those people? Mercenaries go too. Let's go!

Chugchugchugchugg... Your boat sucks. They call me 'School Boy.' Shut up ya, jaggah! In and out that's all we're doing! This is just a job? What's with that guy? I dunno he's quiet. What's with you, boatman? We're here! Let's sneak through the jungle. Ok.

Stomp stomp stomp... shhhh.... shhh..... STABBBBB!!!! guhh.... fwip... thok! thump! Let's rescue them! BAM! POW PING! Rattattatatttat! pew pew pew pew... GAHHHHH!! Chuhchok! Toktoktoktok! ARGGGHH!! FOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!! BABOOM!!!! GAHH!!!! Hacha chee cha cha chee nah cha! Cha na na chiii!!!! <click> BOOM!!! GAHH!! Spurtttt.... gurgle.... BANG BANG BANG pwip! Boof!!!! LA NA CHI NATA CHOW!!! NATA CHOW!!!! BAH BOOOOMMM!!!! NATAH!!!!!! pew pew pew pew pew...Let's get outta here! We can't leave the girl! Screw the girl! Let's go! I'm staying behind to help! I'll help save the girl with Rambo! Ok stupid! We're outta here!!!

WOOOOOO!!!! MOVE! Keep running they'll be after us soon! Keep running girl! Slam. Slam. Slam. Vrooommm... vroommm... click click. CHA CHA! CHOOKIE! Quoo quo nahhhh!!! Vrooom.... Keep going! WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF! They're tracking us! CUH! Gimme that bomb thing! Now go! WOOOF!!! Slam slam! Hananochi! Baklava! Huff puff... huff pufff... stomp stomp... Woof woof! Sniff sniff.... Nonochi? <clik> BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!! FOOOOOSHH!!!!!!!!! Splut splut splut....glug. spuppp...

BANACHI!! PAKOOKI!!! Rattatattattatatatt!!! pew pew pew! Fsssss... BOOM! Fsss...fsss... BOOM BOOM!!!! GAHHHH!!!!! My leg! My damn leg! His leg is shredded man! What are we gonna do? RATATATATATATATATAT!!!! It's that guy! RATATATATATATAT!  YAY! Hamotzee!!!...pew pew pew... gah gah gluccckkkkk...... aaggghghhhH!! RATATATATATATATTATAT! Pop ping pang poom! GAHHH!!!!!! Bad! fwip fwip fwip... PAKEE LA TOKADA!!!! pop pop pating! BOOM! BOOM BOOM! RATATATATAT! Fwik.... sssss..... klok. FOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! FOooooooommm..... huff puff huff puh....Chuing! Sliceeeee.... gugglglglg....ggagggg...... splash.....Eat it. Michael!!! Michael you're alive!!! Thank you Super Rambo man!!

Three Good Things About this Movie

- The violence was at a way high level. All flying around meaty.
- I found myself laughing alot. Like when the dude shot the big gun and it was loud.
- It didn't get all hypocritical "violence is bad" message heavy after all the blam blamming...

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- You didn't feel sad for Rambo. Not even a little.
- Sly gotta cut back on the HGH milkshakes starting..... now.
- Whereas Rocky felt somehow nice and necessary. This seemed not nice and not necessary.

All in all, this movie was more entertaining than I thought it would be. Lots and lots of crazy violence with people exploding and flying around and the one shot to the head making the whole head explode type dealio. But there was also something that was distractingly off about this movie. Probably the bad timing for brainless war violence combined with the missed opportunity to bring real attention to a worthy cause. I dunno. It just would have been nice to see Rambo go out in some semblance of style and class. A hero of sorts-- not just a tired puffy murder machine. But whatever. I can't deny I got a kick out of this bloody stoopid mess--- for old timers sake.

CHYATT???<<<

http://uscampaignforburma.org/