Stuck On You

No I don't know what the hell kind of breakdown took place in my head to make me see this movie but there was some kind of snap today where I absolutely HAD to see a movie and although some people have told me to see like 21 Grams or whatever it's not playing locally so the choice came down to Love Actually, Last Samurai, Somethings Got to Give, and Stuck on You.

Love Actually seems torturously girlie. Last Samurai just seems 'off' somehow. Somethings Got to Give couldn't motivate me to leave my house -so it came down to Stuck on You. A comedy bout siamese twin brothers doing whatever totally.

This movie looked really bad to me. The previews had no laughs.  Matt Damon and Grog Kinnear seemed like an uncomfortable pair. But there I was picking up a bagel and wasabi and a snickers and water and heading on in with the other 3 freaks who will see a movie like this at 2PM on a monday. I thought maybe with the Ferrelys it could be kinda sorta funny at the very least. Dumb and Dumber stands high on my list of funny movies and so does Something Bout Mary. Both classics to me. So I figured if this movie could make me laugh a half-dozen times I'd be all set.

But this movie came up short of the half-dozen. By five. I laughed outloud at this movie once. When Grog and Damon had a flashback to their boxing days and the two of them were beating up one guy. One going high and one low. I laughed at that for some reason. Other than that the other jokes ranged from amusing to pancake. At some point while watching I became convinced that this movie really wasn't a comedy. It's more of a funny situational story rather than a comedy. 

I gotta admit that although it really wasn't exciting on any level- twas oddly watchable for the first hour. Whether it was staring at Kinnear's face and wig. The gross connectoid skin. Or wondering why Ferrely's thought that this really was a good idea in the first place. I found myself falling short of sinking into the 'Uch!' And just sat back and stared at this movie as it just sort of wandered around on the screen desperately in search of jokes. But after the first hour... it became difficult to watch. And then got worse.

I was surprised to see Damon in this movie. It just seemed a little too far down of a goof for him. I like the Damon but him together with Grog Kinnear something never quite kicked in for me. Cher and Meryl Streep had cameo roles which helped things along barely. The other side characters were annoying. I don't know. This movie could have been good if it didn't totally suck. It's sort of like that. It took a concept that was only barely funny and made a barely funny movie around it. I actually considered walking out when there was like 15 minutes left. It almost motivated me to do that which would have been an accomplishment for the flick- but it didn't quite make it there either.

Three Good Things About this Movie

- The flashbacks to them as younger siamese twins was sometimes funny or touching.
- There was a musical number at the end which I actually liked.
- The movie wasn't horrible to the point where you wanted to scoop out your eyeballs with a grapefruit spoon and flick them at the screen.

Three Bad Things About this Movie

- It was a total waste of time.
- Soundtrack songs were forced into scenes throughout the movie.
- Grog was difficult to look at sometimes.

All in all make it a point to never see this movie. A few months from now you might see it on the shelves at Blockbuster with some good quotes on it from weirdo reviewers or whatever. It's not worth the time. And if you're stuck on an airplane and they're showing Stuck on You and you forgot to bring a book.... read the SkyMall catalog instead of watching this flick.. You'll get more laughs looking at all the crap they sell to the suckers.