SATURDAY'S NEIGHBADS

You got a bad neighbor? Or bad tenant? Or a bad landlord?
Or bad dormroom neighbor? Or a bad roommate? Or are you the bad neighbor?

W
rite now right now!

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Yeah I had a real nasty neighbor. When I lived in Culpeper, VA (as featured in John Grisham's 'The Broker' and the X-Files), we had two, one living across the street, the others next door.

The one across the street was this guy we shall call Franky. Franky sat on his porch all day long and just would watch you when you were in watching distance. That's all this guy did, he just sat there and watched you. 24/7. When I got home from work late at night (like 1am), this dude would be sitting there, just staring at me. When he wasn't doing that, he would be mowing his lawn on his riding lawn mower, still watching. If you got near his lawn, he'd pitch a fit and start with a screaming rampage (like that gang member in leisure suit larry if you walked into the alley). I'm sure if you stayed there long enough he'd probably stab you.

The other was next door, a bunch of rednecks. I don't mean to be prejeduce here, but these people were your stereotypical rednecks. They wore wife-beaters with beer stains, hats with the rims in full circle, jeans that were passed down from their great grandpappy that probably wore them while fixing up the moonshine. They were trashy, and their yard was reminiscent of a junk yard. There was trash in their yard, old tires, bodies of old junked cars, and they also had dogs. These friggin dogs would run loose around the neighborhood and always get into the trash, and trash up our yard and pee on our yard stuff. The few times I actually had seen these people they were drunk and tossing beer bottles and stuff around while their little kids watched. I finally called the dog catcher one day to get these people's friggin dogs out of my yard and the woman had a redneck hissy fit. 'Watch you doin' wit my dawg you sunofabich?!" she screamed. "You gemme back my dawg ow my huband is gonna done shoot you in yer face wit his double barrel shotgun!" If I was thinking then I'd probably have a bottle of natural light with me to toss into Franky's yard so the woman would chase after it (that done be good beer you lettin' go to waste!', and Franky would stab her.

Please don't use my natural name because I'm afraid Franky and his band of henchmen are gonna come after me. Just call me......................................... bob.

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I have a neighbour so good, heís terrible.. He used to play for the New York Rangers, so heís a drinker.. We live on a lake just outside of Toronto, so every day you go home from work you feel like youíre at thecottage. Add my low resistence to saying no to alchohol, I often findmyself drinking either on my deck, or in his utility cabin, until thesun starts to come up.. And thatís just Mondays.. Luckily I work for a government agency now, otherwise I would have toworry about attendance and stuff like that. By the way, I like how youbash MCI, I feel the same way about Telus, and some/certain departmentsat BMW Corporate..

Love your site, bitterness is a great motivator. Rob

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Got a terrible neighbor? A terribler neighbor? Do you suck as a neighbor? Think about it... write now!

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