So a couple weeks ago I posted something about how I thought Apple was messing with my iphone and making it worse and slow to motivate me to get a new iPhone (btw- since then I’ve been hearing tons of complaints that their iPhone 4’s are acting ‘weird’ and slowing down and stuff — so I stand by my accusation moreso. Originally post here.)

Anyway, over the weekend I lost my iphone 4. I think maybe I left it in a rental car or dropped it somewhere or who the hell knows what. But it’s gone and the Find my iPhone app can’t find it. I think it’s possible that Apple Police came and confiscated it as punishment for speaking out against the system. Now I’m forced to get the 5 at virtual gunpoint because all my stuff is locked up in the cloud.

I go to the AT&T store and they inform me I’m out of contract til November. And they’re sold out of the 5 anyway. Dude told me I could pay $450 for a 4S– but that would lock me in for a 2 year contract and then I’d be stuck with a phone all old school 2011 til 2013. Which would mean my next iPhone would be the 6 in 2014 (which is just going be called simply ‘6’ btw) — or I’d finally make a switch over to Windows phone which I was considering doing anyway because the iPhone is boring and I resent the 5 on some weird level.

So here I am talking to AT&T guy and he’s like, ‘You can come back in November and order the 5…’ but he wasn’t even sure when they’d get them back in stock. Probably because the slave uprising at Foxconn set the schedule back a bit. But I told him I needed a phone like today— so I bought the cheapest phone they have. $40.

One of those guys. It looks and feels like it was made ten years ago. Original packaging probably bragged about it being ‘In Color’.

But as soon as I heard the ring tone…

… I got weirdly nostalgic for a time long past. When the world was still wide open on cellphones. When getting a text message was as exciting as getting snail mail. Games like Snake and Concentration were all involving. And getting on the internet via the phone was near impossible and clunky– but amazing that it worked.

There was a side of me that immediately felt like I should maybe relive that time. Maybe take this lifestyle change as permanent. When I wasn’t assaulted by friggin email all day. When I wasn’t always accessible. No ghost vibrations. No butt calls. When text messages were for necessity not primary communication. Maybe that simpler time was a better time. Maybe my head would be clearer if I didn’t have this constant distraction buzzing my butt every ten minutes?

I honestly started to think that maybe I would keep this old phone to make a statement to myself. And that statement… ‘I’m simplifying my life. Starting right here.’ I’ll still see texts. I’ll still be able to get to email if absolutely necessary. But this phone puts two degrees of separation between me and the world.

But then I realized the truth. I don’t have my books with me. I like them. Or my music. I like that. NYT or my photos. Or my maps which I do use and rely on alot. I guess I could sacrifice the games and the poking around at nothing apps for no reason– but flirting with going cell simple was a short lived fantasy. I realized that progress had me. The limitations on this phone would get on my nerves in no time. I’m locked in to the lifestyle. There would be no turning back time. There would be no escape.

Although in my heart, I do think we were probably all better off when a cell phone was a phone with other stuff. Not like now, when we have this massive distraction on us 24/7… that also happens to be a phone.

But for the next month or so I’ll proudly and appreciatively be living in the technopast. And at the very least– I know I’ll appreciate the involuntary mental vacation.

ok bye
tOdd

PS. This flipphone is ridiculous. Super unituitive. It’s centerpiece button takes you to the AT&T flipphone shithouse app store. Everything is 3 clicks away. Texting is nightmare-ish. People can’t hear me when I talk on it. No vibration setting. And they want me to pay $5 a month just to access gmail. I’m in phonehelllllll….o. Get it?

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