May 03 2011

Question About Email Help Out

So I received this email yesterday and had some back and forth about whether to post this or not.

I’d like to help out and the guy sounds sincere but hard to tell what to do etc. I edited out the personal info..

Click through to read…


Date: Mon, 2 May 2011 11:51:56 -0700
Subject: you up to a challenge, OT? I want to find my daughter. Been an OT friend forever….


If there’s anyone who can help me, it’s you. Seriously.

Your following of smart/brilliant people have led me to ask you for your help. You’ve got coverage, my friend, and that’s what I need to pull off this miracle.

I want nothing more than to talk to my daughter….see her, hug her, if possible.

XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXX. (Beeyootiful name for a wonderful kiddo that she is….)

She’s my daughter. And I hope you could put something, ANYTHING…up that would help me find her.

Your site could help. You could soooooo do this, OT! I swear!

How cooool & stuff would it be for OT himself to just rest his head on a pillow knowing that you helped a dad find his little princess?

I’m not a freak, offender, or anything like that. CHECK! You of all people could know if I had any red-flags. I don’t.

Help me, OT? Put something out there?

Last known whereabouts: Ocoee FL

Can you? Will you?

I’m serious, OT…Put this info on your stream, & somebody would know SOMETHING, right?

Thanks for even reading this….if you decide you’d even consider it, I’m at xxx-xxx-0752. Home# right in Skokie Illinois…seriously.

I appreciate if you even read this.

Again, her name is XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX (her mom might have changed her last name to XXXXXXX or XXXXXX….please don’t ask…I don’t know…..but that’s the name on her birth certificate)

If you’d be willing, I’d answer any questions you might have…anything.

My daughter is the only reason I keep breathing. Is that enuff reason to try to put this out there???

XXX XXXXXXX (Like “XXXXXXX ..sorry, I didn’t pick my own last name…)
XXX-XXX-XXXX *& yes, that’s a real number….me or my girlfriend xxxxxx will answer…

OT, great thanks. I won’t bother you with H&K or any crap like that. You’ve been an “on-line friend” for years….I admire & respect whatever your decision is.

Very truly yours in goofiness & seriousness….



flowy dress waitress says:

wow… it sucks that we live in a world where your first thought is “can you trust him?”
My reaction would be to take time to think it through, figure out the pros and cons and consider doing a background check. Also, ask yourself (or ask him): why doesn’t he go through conventional means, like dealing with organizations who specialize in this sort of thing?

Anonymous says:


woah says:

I typed out a paragraph about why you shouldn’t help this guy out – about how people come here for something positive, not sad and negative. But since you’ve already posted the story and ruined my light-hearted fun for the day, you might as well fill in the details and give it a shot.

The little girl's dad.(Really...& OT & I have already talked about it...via email, of course...tyvm, OT!) says:

Thanks, Woah…sorry to have gone all serious here, of all places, but…well, I’ve stated my case.

Yellowdog says:

People tell you what they want you to know about a situation. It’s easy to twist the facts when you want to influence someone to act a certain way. This is especially true when you don’t really know a person that well, and aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of a given situation.

This sounds like a messy divorce thing involving custody battles and whatnot. Questions to think about: Is he telling the truth? Is he leaving out important details? Are you getting the whole story? What story do you suppose the mother would tell you? Or the daughter?

I would avoid this situation like the plague and take it down ASAP.

the REAL weeze says:


Anonymous says:

I would take this post down…. This site isn’t about finding missing people – other sites are… and they would look into the background. But if you take it down now, that guy is going to take it personally. You are going to open a whole can of worms and all that, that you probably don’t want. It could all go incredibly tits up. Then again, what do I know…/

Anonymous says:

No reason why you shouldn’t help in some way, but probably should make some entetainemt out of it.. unless it’s some kind of joke.

Jenna in Jerz says:

While it would be nice to help someone out in a situation like this, you need to consider that this guy may be some type of offender…and there’s probably a reason why his ex took his daughter away. That’s IF the daughter story is true. If he were legit, I’m sure he would have gone through the proper authorities to get things set straight on his own.

Guest says:

He kind of lost me after the comment about smart/brilliant people here. He must be lost.

Seriously, if what he is saying is true it seems logical that he would reach out to anyone that could help no matter how small the possibility. Jenna, lots of parents take off with their kids without the other parent’s permission or knowledge. It isn’t an indication the guy did something. I don’t get you people with the accusatory comments like “there must be a reason she did this”. Yea, the reason could just be that she is a selfish bitch. I’m sure he did go through the proper authorities but there is little they can do without a known location.

That being said, without a lengthy investigation on Todd’s part, he has no way of verifying the story and determining if this guy is not permitted near the daughter. Huge can of worms for Todd on a really long shot that she would ever be found through this site.

Alex says:

tOdd – I appreciate your discernment, but I would not help him out. I’ll email you offline as to why.

Amy says:

Why not help the guy out? People always expect the worst out of people.

Alex says:

Well, the guy who wrote is right about a couple of things – tOdd has a brilliant following – and most appear to think the request is inappropriate at best, and nefarious at worst.

The little girl's dad.(Really...& OT & I have already talked about it...via email, of course...tyvm, OT!) says:

I’m “The Guy”, & thanks, Alex, OT has an absolutely brilliant following…that’s why, in addition to all the other ways I’m going about this, I reached out to OT. (again, you are too cool, OT!)
So, there it is. If anyone is in a position to help, I’m quite sure OT will forward the contact info to me.
I miss my kiddo…anyone who’s ever been in a situation like this would go to ANY length to find their child? Right? Right.
That’s all I want. Nothing more. I don’t seek fame, or anything like it. I just want my daughter. If you knew the situation, which OT has brilliantly allowed me to explain TO HIM, you’d understand…
Rock on, OT. (you know who I am…& how to reach me. ‘Tis all…)
Thanks to anyone who could/would/will help….

caligula says:

stalker + scam. delete.

Sh!tForBra!ns says:

I’d like to hear the spouse’s side. THAT should be interesting.

lynn says:

don’t do it odd one. It’s trouble.

J says:

I almost never comment here, but this hit a nerve. In my apartment complex several years ago, a man showed up one evening. In broad daylight, in front of neighbors, he shot and killed his 12 yr old son, 14 yr old daughter, then went inside and shot his ex-wife in the bath tub. They had been given a home here by a battered women & children’s group. Someone told him where he could find them and he came from several states away to kill them.
Of course this may be a million miles from this person’s situation, but do you really want to take that chance? I vote a VERY, VERY strong NO. Just in case.

Mike Anthony says:

I don’t know what you know Todd, after your discussion. But if this man is searching, it should be easy to find stories in the media from his hometown….we have a father in our city right now, searching for a missing son. In my city, the local media have covered the story and it’s easily searchable in our local newspaper websites, radio websites, etc…..Skokie is a suburb of Chicago, but still has a base population of 60,000 or so (according to online sources) so a community that size would likley have some media coverage about a missing child….it would have bigger impact than it would in the heart of downtown Chicago! But even in a huge city, a missing child should have generated some blog postings etc if the parent was actively searching. If this is not the case with this incident; tread carefully.

Anonymous says:

yeah, if dad is legit he needs to spend a couple g’s and use the proper resources

hebba says:

my first thought was…this guy is a sexual preditor.

Help Me, Howard! says:

Why would he reach out to What can you/we do that law enforcement hasn’t? As much as I like this blog, who would come here for help with a domestic/custodial dispute?

If you want to be helpful, refer him to legal aid in his state or to a local media outlet. They have the resources to investigate these claims!

Jimmy the Juicer says:

And the police can’t help this guy? or social services?

Something odd here me thinks.

WTF?!?!?!? says:

People that say “me thinks” should be sterilized and removed from the general public.

WTF?!?!?!?!? says:

I just took a dump so big I had to continue it in the next yard. Woof.

Jordin says:

Are you retarded? What a stupid comment!

JV says:

Dear “The Guy,”
As others have asked, I’m curious–Why OT’s website over law enforcement and traditional media outlets? While there’s a OT base that follows him, I think you would have more coverage with a traditional media outlet if you wanted to get the word out (sorry OT! No offense intended!).

I wish you good luck in your search though! Bee +

Jetstar says:

I’d stay away from this like a shit sandwich……

Voice of Reason says:

It’s creepy and weird. I don’t care what he said via email. Just, no.

Sh!tForBra!ns says:

Didn’t see anybody else suggest this, excuuuuuse me if I missed it- but how about running this potential perv’s name through the “Megan’s Law” website? Assuming he gave you a real name and all it should be easy to see if there’s anything on him.

Hate to be so paranoid with what be a legit request but these days you can’t be too careful, especially concerning the kids. Sorry it’s come to this.

And if he IS a perv, off with his nuts.

sm says:

I’m a police officer. He should be dealing with local law enforcement. At the very least, get the case number from him so you can verify his story. If he has no case number, then it’s a complete scam.

Chris says:

It is a a tragedy that a father can’t see his child. With your connections with the news channel I’m sure they can lead you in the right direction to help this guy out. They could even maybe do a story on Dad’s that aren’t allowed to see their kids because of selfish/crazy/drugged out, not what telling what is wrong with them moms like this one.

If a mom or dad is a good person they should absolutely be a part of their childs life. It is a sin, a tragedy, devastating thing not to be able to see your kid and for them not to be able to see their father/mother.

There is my 10 cents.

megan says:

you gotta be kidding me. xm

Anonymous says:

This is really wierd todd don’t help him ignore it. Who knows what this guy has done in the past. If hes daughters mom had to change her kids name to avoid him he has truly done some terriable things.

JKman says:

What would be wrong if Todd posted on his site the personal info? I’d like to see what happens if he helps the guy out.

Alex says:

Well – here’s my email I sent to tOdd yesterday. To “The Guy”:
Hi tOdd,

The whole thing seems too strange for words. For him to even want to use a forum like ‘Laid off Land’ for something as (potentially) gravely serious as a missing daughter that he purportedly desperately wants to find seems more than strange. In addition, I realize ‘tone’ is difficult if not impossible to read from an email, but he seems to be a bit too lighthearted, which sends up more than a couple of read flags for me. If the daughter is truly missing, there are ways to put the word out – internet and otherwise (um, I’d start w/the police, myself, and he may have, but it’s unlikely the police would have advised him to take this approach with you – and in fact, they’d more than likely recommend AGAINST doing what he’s doing).

After thinking about this for a long time – his daughter probably is “missing” – from his life – and there’s probably good reason(s) for that. I think it’s more likely that he’s either (a) trying to get in touch with her for the wrong reasons (i.e., a child custody situation, or an abusive situation), and/or, (b) he’s trying to see if he can influence you re: the content of your site, just for the ‘fun’ of it. In addition, if I were you I’d take note of the fact that he really appears to be trying to put pressure on you (w/flattering phrases that are similar to ‘c’mon man, if anyone can do it, YOU can…’). I don’t mean to insult you in any way tOdd, I’ve been a fan from the very beginning (you’ve published some of my crap before even, and we’ve corresponded on occasion), but the basis of your web site, and what it’s for, and what you do for a living doesn’t relate to “missing persons” stuff. There are (again,) services that do indeed do that – internet based ones and otherwise. The only reason I harp on this, is that’s where I saw a lot of the manipulation coming in (among other places – re: his communication).

And there are probably other good reasons NOT to indulge this guy in the first place.

There’s my (more than) two cents.

take care man


goats says:

I’m assuming the little girl is a minor. The Dad has rights and can go through the cops/fbi/courts if he has a legal right to see the kid. I have experience with this situation as it has happened to somoene I know. It took years, and a lot of money to Private Investigators, but he eventually tracked his daughter down. I’m not sure anyone on this site is going to know too many minors….so it’s probably harmless enough to post it. But it does seem wierd. If the guy can prove he’s legit, and purely desperate, then I’d say go ahead and give the dets….

Rae says:

I agree with what others have said. The mother changed that girl’s name for a reason. The story about the apartment complex sent chills down my spine. Do you really want to be the reason that another heinous act like that happens, tOdd? Look at that email he sent. The bad vibes are there. I felt them. Obviously so have others above. Please remove it, tOdd. Tell the guy to go through the police and/or other legal means to find his daughter if he is, in fact, legit. Too many crazies today. You can’t be too careful. Better to say you didn’t help and he was honest than to say you helped and a mother and daughter are dead.

Alex says:

Sorry for what is largely a redundant post here, but SERIOUSLY. Envision a man who’s GENUINELY distraught about his missing daughter. Really think about what someone who’s experiencing that sort of horror is like. Then read this excerpt from his email:

“…Your site could help. You could soooooo do this, OT! I swear!

How cooool & stuff would it be for OT himself to just rest his head on a pillow knowing that you helped a dad find his little princess?

I’m not a freak, offender, or anything like that. CHECK! You of all people could know if I had any red-flags. I don’t…”

I mean, really?!

HEY says:

hey how about you quit thinking about saving people and get back to what matters most like FINDING THAT CHINA-MAN AND MAKING CARTOONS.

Shopping Cart Warrior says:

So many dumb comments…where to begin.

Pinheads that live in an either-or world, it is entirely possible the guy could be going to the police, the news, putting up posters, hiring private investigators, AND contacting Todd for help. Not really sure why you think he only has one option. Use the lump on your shoulders please.

Pinheads that think that the mother changing the last name is an indication of anything, really? Are you that slow you can’t see how maybe she is just a bad person and she is doing it to avoid being caught. Her changing the kids names and running off doesn’t tell you anything either way. So stop looking at it as a clue.

Pinheads that have been giving this a lot of thought, time for a hobby.

Pinheads with the bathroom comments, TMI. Go away.

Vladamir Putin says:

Dear SCW,

Please don’t insult people, there is no need for it. If you are really as smart as you think you are, don’t you have better things to do?

Anonymous says:

I’m surprised this is still up.

Guest says:

That’s what she said!

Anonymous says:

noice one bruvah

Nicol says:

Todd is not the guy to ask for help with finding a kid. Isn’t he a serious procrastinator?

WTF?!?!?!? says:

This whole thing smells like pure evil. An evil stench so thick and noxious that you could cut it with a machete. A malevolent presence that would render a dozen exorcists helpless. A black cloud of sulphur and brimstone that slowly parts to reveal Satan himself wondering WTF has summoned him from his Stygian realm.

Oh, wait… (turns and checks)… sorry- that was me. And the humungous horrible dump I just took that burst the plumbing and burned its way down through the earth to the gates of Hell themselves. My bad.

Jordin says:

Nobody cares about your bowel movements asshole!

Krankor says:

Guy’s a loser or fraud. There are PLENTY of better ways to find a loved one.

Krankor says:

Actually, I’m in Orlando right now for a convention. Maybe I should spend the night looking for her???

Anonymous says:

is the guys number (847) 695-0752

My Butt Here says:

Have you tried calling the police.

Anonymous says:

I think you should just help him out; I mean, it’s just a little girl–there’s like a million of those in the world. It’s not like it’s something important like a playstation 3 or something.

MsM says:

Could just be a scam, or a stalker. Why go to a cartoonist in NY to find a daughter from Illinois? Hire a lawyer and a private detective like a sane person.

Shadowdancer21b says:

Point this gentleman in the direction of the Center for Missing and Exploited Children. They can take care of it.

Anonymous says:

True, true – and once you start to help one, the other band of followers will be close behind. You start this and it may become more than you can handle in all aspects. But, I do hope he finds her by traveling down the proper route.

Satan says:

I thnk you should expose him for the MOLESTER he really must be, i think he wants you to tie her up while he probes her with an acorn squash.

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