March 15 2011

Tainting The Problem Child

So today I went to the barbershop to get my head shaved. I was the only customer in the shop and the three Uzbekistani barbers were all watching Problem Child on the flatscreen. They seemed really into it. Laughing out louding and all that.

I said, “Ah, Problem Child… a classic…”

Here’s how the conversation went after that:

Uzbek #1: You like The Problem Child??

Me: Yeah! I haven’t seen it in a while but who doesn’t love Problem Child!

Uzbek #2: We love The Problem Child.

Me: Yeah! That kid… Funny kid. Red hair…

Uzbek #3: (something not in English) prooblem cheild (something not in English)

They all agree on whatever was just said.

Me: Is this on TV or DVD?

Uzbek #2: It on TV but we also have The Problem Child on DVD.

Me: Wow. Cool. Good movie.

Uzbek #1: You like the scene where she gets her nose?

(He points at his own nose. I have no idea what that means.)

Me: Yeah. Well, the whole movie is funny.

Uzbek #3: The Prooblem Cheild … (something not in English)

We all take a break to watch the red headed kid drive John Ritter’s car away to the tune of Born to Be Wild. I can see these guys really like Problem Child alot. And very familiar with it.

We watched for a while while my head got razored– and I was reminded about John Ritter being dead. 🙁 So I decided to mention it…

Me: Man, it’s a shame what happened to… y’know… John Ritter.

I point at the screen.

Uzbek #2: The actor man? What is shame?

Me: Umm… John Ritter. That guy. He died a while ago.

Uzbek #1: He dead!!? When?!

Uzbek #2: How he die?!

Me: I don’t remember. I think he had some stomach issue or something and then the hospital screwed up or something? Something like that.

(The two Uzbeks fill in the third Uzbek. The third guy’s eyes go wide. He looks upset.)

Uzbek #1: We didn’t know he dead.

Me: Yeah. Sad. It was very sad when it happened.

Uzbek #2: It is still very sad!

Me: Yeah is…still. Very.

We all go back to watching Problem Child but now there is no laughing out loud. Even when funny stuff is going down the three Uzbeks didn’t laugh again. I guess they went into a period of mourning or something.. They spoke only in Uzbekistani for the remainder of my haircut.

As I paid (and gave a nicer than usual tip)– I felt bad about letting the Ritter death info out of the bag. It felt that Problem Child was like a little happy place for those three Uzbek guys and I splashed some sadness all over the purity of their goofball movie favorite.

Basically, I gave them some info that was strictly on a need to know basis— and these guys apparently really didn’t need (nor want) to know…

ok bye!


Anonymous says:

Dreams need to be crushed Todd, you did them a favor.

Anonymous says:

if you remember John Ritter had a heart problem and his Doctor’s TOLD him he needed an operation and he refused because he believed in some Hollywood bullshit holistic medicine and even SAID publicly that he would take his chances without the operation. So a short time later he dropped dead! Fuckin idiot…

Anonymous says:

Also firsty’s!!!!!

Mr. Hyabusa from Japan says:

These things happen Todd.

Conspiracy Man says:

John Ritter was murdered by Susan Summer

the REAL weeze says:


Amy says:

Why do you get a haircut when youre bald I dont get it

Josh says:

Todd, you frickin idiot. This whole site is pointless, these days.

Nosh says:

Josh, you frickin idiot. Your whole post is pointless, weeze says.

tainted says:

seems like every time you go to that place something awkward happens. problem child was a damn good movie. used to watch that movie over and over on VHS rental from blockbuster and kept it too long cause i wanted to keep it longer, and ended up paying a late fee (be kind, please rewind!)

trout says:

RIP Jon Ritter. Your mediocre comedy plus some pretty good movies will be missed. “It isstill very sad!”

Anonymous says:

Makes me want to watch problem child.

Really? says:

A can’t believe you pay someone to shave your head. It takes 5 minutes in the shower.

Crumbles says:

I was doing my John Ritter impression annnndWHAM

JT says:

Wow, between Roscoe chasing the kid on the B ball court and the John Ritter experience (all within the same week??), the neighbors might start talking!

Anonymous says:

Your conversations with other people remind me of the scenes with Larry in “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” From my point of view, what you say is perfectly fine and sometimes even more pc than what is necessary. There just happens to be an awful lot of hypersensitive people around us these days.

Anonymouse says:

WTF?!? Was the crack aimed at me?!? You best watch your back.

subdaimon says:

While you’re at it, don’t forget to kick their cat or dog on the way out he door.

Anonymous says:


Stoner McDope says:

Whoa, man… John Ritter’s dead? No shit. When did this happen?

oddtodd7 says:


-DJ- says:

Way to go Todd. Why don’t you go back next week and tell them Mrs. Cleaver’s dead too. They’ll probably pull a Sweeney Todd on you right there in the chair.

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