June 06 2010

The Amazing Energy of the Motivators

When I was a kid like 12-13 years old, parties or dances or whatever were just tension filled get-togethers. Not fun really. Just stressful. At that age, I probably just started liking girls but had no idea what to do with them or how to talk to them or whatever. So I’d huddle up with my guy friends and we’d just double dare one another to do dumb stuff or whatever. Sometimes one of us would be so bold to break out and ask someone to dance or whatever. Always a huge call.

Usually the person who was in charge of the party atmosphere was some long suffering DJ who would spin songs that always seemed to go too long– and then he’d clear the dance floor by mistakenly cueing up Wings of Love or something for a slow dance. A desperate move to round out the music and vibe.

I remember these fail DJs angrily yelling into microphones insisting everyone get on the dance floor. Trying and bombing to ‘get the party started’. Having to drag out the Hokey Pokey or something just to get any action going. But that type of nervous teeny party is long in the past round these parts.

Main reason being the now obligatory presence of ‘Motivators’.

This weekend I went to a cousin’s Bat Mitzvah (totally fun and she did great. good times etc). Lots of kids running around and all that. But right away the dance floor was hopping because of sky high energy from the hired ‘Motivators’. One hot girl and two like modelly guys. 20-something. Dressed in cool black t-shirts and black pants. Their job was simple. Get kids involved, boost energy in the room, make sure a live mic is always active, and dance crazy non-stop. Paid party party in the house.

I’m always amazed to watch motivators at work. Good ones have it down to a science. Mixing Karaoke and dance clubbing– and at the same time diffusing tension. They make the kids feel cool. 12 year old boy dancing with some motivator hot chick and he’s gonna feel like the Man. Girls getting twirled by some good looking guy will make them feel special. It makes all kids feel successful and relaxed. Nerds get dragged in and grouped in with cool people one of the same. No favoritism. And no moment of slow down to sit and worry.

The music has progressed too. No random song after random song. Now it’s now one big mega mix. The goal is to get to the chorus that everyone likes to sing. A microphone gets jammed in some kids face willing to yell/sing the song and feel like a star. (Thankfully this mic is turned way down in the speakers. Sparing the adults of a few hours of full blast kid-karaoke). Then it’s on to the next sped-up hit.

Also, I watched the motivator chick and realized that she wasn’t just there for the benefit of the kids either. Secretly dudes and dads at the bar were innocently watching the dancefloor scene– but really gawking at some blonde with a crazy butt shaking it non-stop. Making the delusional alternative universe assessment if they could somehow ‘get’ her. Nothing wrong with that really. Probably moms were getting kicks out of watching soloflex style dudes doing whatever as well.

The thing I found seriously amazing too– is when things calmed down because of food or whatever and the dance floor reduced down to a stray kid or two. The Motivators didn’t stop. No break. No taking advantage of the slowdown. No exhausted sitting in a chair. I’d look over at the dance floor and they’d still be going nuts. Just amongst themselves! Full blast! The girl would be dancing around in circles and the dudes would be all jumping around. These people can’t stop partying! Seemingly choosing to do keep doing their “job” over taking a ten minute break. Waiting for the kids to come back…

But I gotta admit– I wondered if the kids were missing anything by not having the weird old school style situation from my back in the day. The awkward stress of girls and boys separated and having to do double dares just to get something going on. Maybe some nervous rite of passage was being cheated or skipped?

And I decided that probably isn’t the case. A good time is a good time. And chances are if the 12-year old me just finished dancing with some super hot dancing motivator chick– I probably would have an easier time asking out the girl I had a crush on or whatever. It would be a delusional confidence booster if anything.

But one thing I know for a fact– (holy friggin macaroni) that motivator job just ain’t (and never was) for me— times a thousand.

ok bye!


WTF?!?!?!? says:

Oy friggin’ vey!

JV says:

Wow, I never heard about motivators till now. What a genius invention.

John "Freakin' " Kennedy says:

We had the same type of “motivators” back at my inauguration bash.

Except ours were hookers, strippers, blue-movie starlets and the incomparable Ginger. Kind of different than yours, but definately kept things interesting.

John “Freakin’ ” Kennedy
The Oval Office

Doodles says:

I would be motivated by a hot chicky being all hot chickery in a nice way.

Angry Man says:

WTF? Motivators? America is weird!

Johan says:

The essence of the post: “A good time is a good time.”

Well worth remembering.

Al says:

Thats pretty aweasome. Anything that makes a kids adolescent years less awkward is a good thing in mybook. Worry not there will be plenty of time for awkward moments regarding the opposite sex. This is purely a good thing, with the only possible drawback being cost. More power to these motivators, good for them and good for the parents being able to have them/afford them.

MsM says:

That is great for the right now! I think kids that never had the “Teen” dace experience like us, would have a fun time with feeling like they are at an old school MTV dance party.
I can’t help thinking however, that back in the day, kids would have felt intimidated by older flashy dancers being at the dance. I know I would have felt jealousy at some older hot chick dancing with the boy of my dreams.

Ms. 72 says:

Dude- at least you didn’t have a tyrant for a mother who made you go to the prom with some random girl you didn’t even know. At least you had friends- my own mother even told me she could “totally see why [I] didn’t have any friends” in high school. And to top it all off, everyone avoided me because I was fat and ugly. Maybe I should start reading into that Freudian psychology mumbo-jumbo.

Jizzed Pants says:

That last comment made me jizz in my pants.

Ms. 72 says:

That last comment from- ahem- Mr. Pants…… What the hell?……. haha.

Jizzed Pants says:

That’s what that comment did to me… got me all hot and bothered… and then, well, things happen in my pants. I can’t stop it.

Nor do I want to.

Anonymous says:

Was that c0co smoker Mr. Deng there Todd ?

scroticus kahn says:

stupid goyim.

Refflection says:

Times are a changin’, and I think it’s for the best. The last few generations have had some shitty behavioral issues that I believe the born mid-90s and later aren’t going to inherit (at least not as many of them). We’ve entered into a new era of parenting, and a lot of parents (myself included) see our kids as actual human being, capable of amazing things. Our parents didn’t have that vision. Kids were considered a nuisance when I was growing up, and even more so when my parents were growing up. Things are better now 🙂

Anonymous says:

You have it the other way around. Parenting is getting is worse, not better. Kids are spoiled rotten.

Anonymous says:

Totally agree with you Anonymous. Anybody thinking kids are better off today is part of the problem- not to pick on you, Refflection, but obviously you’re one of them, as you think you (parents as a whole) are doing such a great job raising a bunch of spoiled brats who have never experienced struugle or failure and will NOT know how to cope with these things in real life.

Yes, of course they’re “actual human beings” (duh) but they’re also CHILDREN and it’s YOUR job to protect their childhood. Or would you have preferred they spend a night at Neverland with Michael Jackson when he was alive?

If you had issues growing up (and being considered a nuisance obviously is), I’m genuinely sorry. But don’t take it out on your kids by failing them as a “parent”.

If you start talking to us about “Indigo Children” or “Crystal Children” or whatever the New-Agers are babbling about this week, ignore everything I just said. Because your issues are way bigger than “parenting” or the lack therof.

An Old Friend says:

Get yourself some ol’school Panasonic RP-HTX7-RS. No School like the Ol’school!!

Travis says:

When I went to dances as a kid the best DJ’s always played “Mony Mony” by Billy Idol.

When Billy sang “Here she comes down singing “Mony Mony”, the kids would always reply with “Hey motherf***er, get laid, get f***ed”.

This might just be a Canadian thing though.

Prime Minister says:

Canada, eh? The land of moose, hockey, maple syrup, lumberjacks, poutine, and misquoted Billy Idol lyrics.

retodd says:

Pics of super hot motivator chick or GTFO.

Tony Manero says:

” I’d look over at the dance floor and they’d still be going nuts. Just amongst themselves! Full blast! The girl would be dancing around in circles and the dudes would be all jumping around. These people can’t stop partying! ”

Stay off the cokespoon, kids, or one day you’ll grow up to be a ….. “motivator”.

Nat M. says:

There were motivators at the Bar Mitzvahs I went to when everybody at my school was having them back in ’03, and they were funny and cool, but sometimes they got way in your face about dancing. They’d ask you to come dance, and you were like “Sorry, I’m gonna go get some food” or something, and they’d insist. “Get on the dance floor! Have some FUN!!!”. It was like a telemarketer dance floor person. Got kinda annoying after a while. I guess it wasn’t as bad as awkward 13 year olds hanging out on the sides, but forcefed dancing was kind of a joke.

Goebbels says:

Ve haff vays uf making you dance.

Anonymous says:

Kids are human beings capable of amazing things? Yeah, come back and talk to us when he’s 35 and still sleeping on your sofa, pushover.

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Whore in a Box says:

Whore in a Box.

SkipJack says:

Can I hire some motivators to come and jump around my livingroom?

WTF!!! says:

Of course you can and their motivation can be controlled by your wallet. You can motivate them just enough to remove their clothes and dance around or you can drop some extra coin and motivate them to give you a happy ending.

Crumbles says:

I had a gig once as a Motivator. I was out on the dance floor annnnd WHAM

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