When I was a kid like 12-13 years old, parties or dances or whatever were just tension filled get-togethers. Not fun really. Just stressful. At that age, I probably just started liking girls but had no idea what to do with them or how to talk to them or whatever. So I’d huddle up with my guy friends and we’d just double dare one another to do dumb stuff or whatever. Sometimes one of us would be so bold to break out and ask someone to dance or whatever. Always a huge call.

Usually the person who was in charge of the party atmosphere was some long suffering DJ who would spin songs that always seemed to go too long– and then he’d clear the dance floor by mistakenly cueing up Wings of Love or something for a slow dance. A desperate move to round out the music and vibe.

I remember these fail DJs angrily yelling into microphones insisting everyone get on the dance floor. Trying and bombing to ‘get the party started’. Having to drag out the Hokey Pokey or something just to get any action going. But that type of nervous teeny party is long in the past round these parts.

Main reason being the now obligatory presence of ‘Motivators’.

This weekend I went to a cousin’s Bat Mitzvah (totally fun and she did great. good times etc). Lots of kids running around and all that. But right away the dance floor was hopping because of sky high energy from the hired ‘Motivators’. One hot girl and two like modelly guys. 20-something. Dressed in cool black t-shirts and black pants. Their job was simple. Get kids involved, boost energy in the room, make sure a live mic is always active, and dance crazy non-stop. Paid party party in the house.

I’m always amazed to watch motivators at work. Good ones have it down to a science. Mixing Karaoke and dance clubbing– and at the same time diffusing tension. They make the kids feel cool. 12 year old boy dancing with some motivator hot chick and he’s gonna feel like the Man. Girls getting twirled by some good looking guy will make them feel special. It makes all kids feel successful and relaxed. Nerds get dragged in and grouped in with cool people one of the same. No favoritism. And no moment of slow down to sit and worry.

The music has progressed too. No random song after random song. Now it’s now one big mega mix. The goal is to get to the chorus that everyone likes to sing. A microphone gets jammed in some kids face willing to yell/sing the song and feel like a star. (Thankfully this mic is turned way down in the speakers. Sparing the adults of a few hours of full blast kid-karaoke). Then it’s on to the next sped-up hit.

Also, I watched the motivator chick and realized that she wasn’t just there for the benefit of the kids either. Secretly dudes and dads at the bar were innocently watching the dancefloor scene– but really gawking at some blonde with a crazy butt shaking it non-stop. Making the delusional alternative universe assessment if they could somehow ‘get’ her. Nothing wrong with that really. Probably moms were getting kicks out of watching soloflex style dudes doing whatever as well.

The thing I found seriously amazing too– is when things calmed down because of food or whatever and the dance floor reduced down to a stray kid or two. The Motivators didn’t stop. No break. No taking advantage of the slowdown. No exhausted sitting in a chair. I’d look over at the dance floor and they’d still be going nuts. Just amongst themselves! Full blast! The girl would be dancing around in circles and the dudes would be all jumping around. These people can’t stop partying! Seemingly choosing to do keep doing their “job” over taking a ten minute break. Waiting for the kids to come back…

But I gotta admit– I wondered if the kids were missing anything by not having the weird old school style situation from my back in the day. The awkward stress of girls and boys separated and having to do double dares just to get something going on. Maybe some nervous rite of passage was being cheated or skipped?

And I decided that probably isn’t the case. A good time is a good time. And chances are if the 12-year old me just finished dancing with some super hot dancing motivator chick– I probably would have an easier time asking out the girl I had a crush on or whatever. It would be a delusional confidence booster if anything.

But one thing I know for a fact– (holy friggin macaroni) that motivator job just ain’t (and never was) for me— times a thousand.

ok bye!
tOdd

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