August 02 2011

The Awkward Hello Puzzler Post

So the other day I was walking around with the gf and we stopped by this coffee place she likes alot. She’s friends with one of the coffee barista people inside and I’ve been introduced to this girl a bunch of times. Let’s say the coffee girl’s name is Sally.

(What happened next is sort of confusing but I’ll try splain it best I can.)

I head inside by myself to get the coffees (gf waited outside with the dogs) and kind of sort of recognize the girl who takes my order. She’s vaguely familiar.

I nicely ask for a couple of iced coffees and a muffin or whatever. It comes to $8.00 and I give her a $20 bill. She gives me back $22. Two tens and two ones. $22 on $20 change? She turns to walk away and I say, ‘Umm… You gave me weird change..?.’ She’s like, ‘Weird change?’ It took as a while to sort out what happened.

She seemed annoyed because she thought I was asking for more change– and I sort of got annoyed too because I was being good honest guy but she thought I was being annoying wrong change guy– but I was being good honest guy! Anyway, we sorted it out and I left…

I get outside and gf was like, ‘Did you say hi to Sally?’ I was like, ‘Umm… Well. Not really…’ All of a sudden it dawned on me that the person I just sort of had an awkward change exchange with was someone that I was supposed to be all like friendly to! Considering I’ve been introduced to her a bunch of times! To walk up and just order coffee to gf’s friend and then mix it up on the change was social terribleness.

Sometimes the gf gets mad at me for my name/face forgetfulness and in this case I think it was extra because it was someone I definitely should have recognized. And it freaked me out a little because I’ve met Sally a bunch of times too so only the vague recognition was a little scary.

Anyway, we walk away and I start telling her about how the change situation on top of it (which was not thrilling the gf extra)– when all of a sudden running up behind us is this other girl. The gf is like, ‘Oh! There’s Sally…’ The girl running up wasn’t the girl from behind the counter! It was a totally different girl! Came outside to say hello. I was totally relieved I didn’t have the grumpy $22 weird change situation with her.

I say ‘Hello‘ to Sally and then I’m sort of quiet for 30 seconds doing some social math in my head in terms of the miscommunication. The girls talk for a bit– then the gf made an effort to bring me into the conversation by jokingly saying, ‘Todd was just worried he gave you an awkward hello.’

I stood there frozen in my tracks. How could I explain to Sally that I had her confused with the other girl in the coffee shop– which would have been rude because it would have been outing myself not knowing who she was in the first place and to explain… ok wait

I know this is all wordy confusing so I’ll just put that moment in Sally’s perspective. She randomly comes up to us on the street to say hi. I say ‘Hello’ and then get silent. After a half minute of me standing there, gf says out of the blue, ‘Todd was just worried he gave you an awkward hello…’ — as if the gf was reading my mind as to why I was being quiet and then speaking on my behalf as to why I was being awkward — which sort of came full circle in the end. Sally had to assume the awkward hello gf was referring to was the one I just gave 30 seconds ago…

Feh too confusing. I tried my best to splain it. Make sense at all? Twas just funny to me.

ok bye!

PS. If you want something simple here’s Roscoe biting water…


earp says:

This is not weird. This is normal. A good day in fact.
What would be weird is if you had a gf and everything was making perfect sense all the time. That would be pure Twilight Zone

Anonymous says:

You should just have suggested a date with Sally and GF for some filthy three-way action. Problem solved.

Angry Man says:

Your right I couldn’t follow it. Maybe take a writing class?

Jayslickbalt says:

Maybe you should take a reading class dip shit……read it again if you couldn’t follow it the 1st time…..never mind just go back to sucking on the window sill.

Window sill says:

WAHAHAHAHA go back to sucking on the window sill….hilarious.

Anonymous says:

Maybe you could also take a class where you learn the difference between your and you’re.

Anon says:

I don’t like your writing when you include the “GF”. Sorry tODD.

Fun Ron says:

ROFL jay STFU, jerk. I disagree with the ANON post.

Anonymous says:

Anon is just jealous because he isn’t TOdd’s girlfriend.

Arwen says:

It nakes total sense to me 🙂

gunfevers cousin says:

maybe if you paid more attention to people instead of being so fucking self centered you wouldn’t have that fucking problem where you embarrass yourself like a fucking asshole

jon says:

Awww… now you made me miss the lil’ Wigger. I’m almost sorry I killed him. I said almost. As entertaining as he was, he didn’t deserve to live. It was a gruesome way to go. I have video I can post.

Bob in Peru says:

Two cold coffees and a muffin (stale) for $8.00 ! I hope she wore a mask and held a pistol on you when she made the tally. That’s the best reason to pocket the $22 and RUN !

Jon Boner says:

Show us a photo of your bitch!

the people says:

The people demand to see a picture of your tranny girlfriend!

Anonymous says:

window sill lol

Anonymous says:


WTF?!?!?!??!?! says:

CHICKS. Who knows WTF they’re thinking half the time?!?!?!?!?

inner monologue says:

go back and firebomb the place.
it’s the only way.

Krankor says:

In these situations, I find it best to rip off an extremely loud fart and change the subject to “food that gives you gas”.

tainted says:

lol, yeah, i followed the story. now its kind of a double whammy cause both those girls got an awkward hello from you.

the whole situation could have been totally averted if you did something superhero like that time you picked the dollar off the floor and stuffed it into the tip jar. if you stuffed the extra cash into the tip jar the girl woulda been all like, whoa, thanks! and you wouldnt have had any awkward situation with either.

unless the deli girl later gets fired for short changing the register and working in cahootz with the bald muffin guy and his lookout parter in crime standing outside while you shout something about the change being “weird” and your dog pees all over his legs on the front steps then throws up on the carpet as a distraction.

could have gone either way.

Tip Jar says:

Yeah… I always wondered who picked up that dollar off the filthy floor and stuffed it in me. I had STD’s for months after. You don’t want to know.

window sill says:

Dammit am I getting sucked on or NOT!?!?

the REAL weeze says:


Nico says:

Weeze I pray to god someone breaks into your moms basement tonight and murders you.

me says:


Nico says:

I would have had your GF invite her friend back to your stabbin cabin and do them both……

Sarah says:

Nico, the Real Weeze is a turd that won’t go away.

Bob in Peru says:

Weeze, I’m coming to slash the tires on your house.

SantaFE says:

My first post ! 🙂

Hey says:

I enjoyed this story, the window sill comment, and the deep laughs that filled the dog biting video. Thanks for the smile.

Jane says:

This is hilarious! Despite my emotional anguish at the fact that you have a gf who is not me, this makes me feel much better about my inability to tell people apart or remember where I know them from.

meevaitte says:

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the north face oso hoodie

s says:

Thanks for a good laugh Todd, I needed it.

Errogyendudge says:

abercrombie clothes
abercrombie and fitch gilet
abercrombie outlets

flowy dress waitress says:

i have the same problem with thte face recognition thing (everyone looks the same to me). and i decided i don’t care.

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