December 13 2010

The :- ( Case of Baldstaken Identity

So the other day I was in a coff-ay shop with a friend of mine and we were sitting around minding our own business when this girl walked in. She walked up to our table and gave me a BIG hello. Because I’m always paranoid about forgetting faces I gave her a BIG hello back– but a second later we both realized that I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me. She apologized and told me she was meeting someone and I wasn’t him. We had that quick laugh about it and I went about my business.

My coffay conversation turned from whatever we were talking about to my way outsized hello for someone I didn’t recognized at all due to my paranoia about forgetting a face. And how I can’t keep a name in my head and all that. And how I try to never say ‘Nice to meet you’ ever etc. After our coffee we get up to leave and I see the girl who mis-recognized me. She was sitting across from a bald man with glasses– which explained the mistaken-identity-ness.

Ummm…. except the bald guy kinda looked like this:

That may be a slight exaggeration but really only kinda sorta slight. The person I was with picked up with the utter devastation of the mixup– and said, ‘Wow.’ I was like, ‘Nooo!’ He was like, ‘Whelp, that’s that for your day…’ I watched the two of them for a little bit hoping for a sign of first date-ness or a business meeting where only a rough description was given. But I did sense a comfortable familiarity between them. And her initial hello to me didn’t have that inquisitive cocked headedness that goes along with a blind hello. So I made peace with it deciding that they probably ‘just haven’t seen each other in a long time or something’. And that her hello was going to be immediately followed up with ‘You look great!!’

But who knows. I think it may fall more into a “bald with glasses” form of prejudice. Like, people think bald guys with glasses all look alike sometimes or something. I mean, I was in a meeting recently with coincidentally three other bald guys. All wearing glasses. All with stubble like mine– and it did look like were on a bald guy casting call. (most likely the part would be either ‘dorky friend’ or ‘artsy guy’ or ‘serial killer’). In any case, this coffay shop situation was a shot across my bow that definitely made me race to the ‘look alike’ prejudice as shelter from the ego storm.

ok bye!

PS. Going to a screening of True Grit this week so early review to follow soon!


Nicol says:

Where’s the picture of the guy? There is just a girl here.

R$N says:

No worries Todd. These things happen.

the REAL weeze says:


WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? says:

George Costanza. Yul Brenner. Todd Rosenberg. Telly Savalas.

Amy says:

Its true that bald guys with glasses do often look the same

riflefever says:

is it snowing already

Anonymous says:

Lose the stubble. It’ll help them distinguish between you and the others.

MooANon says:

I’ve seen Todd personally and he’s not THAT far away from THAT! SRY TODD!!!

R$N says:

Todd isn’t that fat? Come on!! Don’t bull$hit me.

Laura says:

Todd is actually handsome!!! Seems like someone is just being a j-e-r-k!

yellowdog says:

Todd, even though you go on about your face getting too round every now and then, you’ve got to be in good shape from all that no-car city-living walking around you do with Roscoe. Don’t worry about it. The girl was probably half blind anyway.

Rae says:

We have a friend named Bob who is bald and who has a great build. My 2 year old calls every bald guy with muscles he sees Bob. It’s actually kinda cute. The real Bob gets a kick out of it. Of course, the first time the kid calls a fat bald guy Bob, it won’t be so funny for the real Bob anymore!

MsM says:

Your drawing looks exactly like this guy I know “Bob” who is a flea market dealer here in Illinois. (Different Bob than the one in “Rae’s” post.) He looks NOTHING like you Todd.

naisy says:

fooorrrrr reallllll!!! todd is a sexy mo fo!!! hes FAR fromt that drawing! soooo hot 😉

Stoner McDope says:

You could always wear a wig. A really, really bad wig.

Or do the whole “combover” thing that older guys always do that never fools anybody for .0001 second.

Or shave your head completely and tattoo your scalp. NOBODY will question that.

Paule says says:

Todd screw messed up blind chicks and send us some pictures!!!!!!!

Jojo Dancer says:

This is why I still love this website. Shake it off TODDLER!!

Carol Ann says:

I still love you OT

Jane says:

1. I have eyesight problems that glasses don’t correct for, so I walk around with only a vague idea of what people look like without them ever realizing it.

2. I have a terrible memory for faces. I waited tables for years and still had no idea who my customers were. There’s an actual disorder for that, Jane Goodall had it. I mean, I’m not quite so bad I have to go study chimps, but still.

3. Despite all the above, I’m super great with people. So if you had seen me talking to someone I barely know and couldn’t recognize, we would still seem like best friends.

Conclusion: You look nothing like that guy, so settle down.

tainted says:

The fact that it was a big hello means that

a. it wasnt a first time meeting
b. they hadnt seen each other in a long time


c. they didnt know each other well enough to go out for anything but coffee

My Butt Here says:

Parhapts daft gurl neds sum glaasses.

bark says:

She was lame todd. Forget it and move on.

craig from red hook says:

look up Prosopagnosia

Mr. Pud says:

Just did the same thing myself, but I was the one who gave a hearty hello to someone who looked familiar but turned out to be a complete stranger. About a millisecond after I said HELLO, I realized that I had no idea who I said hello to so I smiled and I kept on walking. That’s what you do. You keep on walking just like everything is fine. Makes them think that they’re the one who can’t remember you.

Z says:

FM: no static at all!

kleenhed says:

tOdd, I am a bald CHICK with glasses (I gots me a bad case of the alopecia) and this baldness-glasses-wearing-prejudice BS happens to me too! I’ve had a few people over the years think I was some other bald chick with glasses. Strange… I didn’t think there would be too many of us out there. Anyway, just wanted to tell ya that I feel yer pain.

Have a website? Wanna be featured below? Send me a banner 364x40! 100% Free!