May 07 2010

The Sarah Silverman Chicken-Out

So before I headed to California, a friend of mine (who is sort of a guy who knows people in the know and people in the know know) invited me to join him at a ‘Sarah Silverman’ book party thing while I was in LA. I was like, ‘Yeah! Coolio!’ He sent me the info…

It was at a place on Sunset called Trousdale but in my head that read ‘Troubadour’ neither of which place I’ve been to but I know Troubadour is sort of a big place so I figure Trousdale was like a just-as-big sibling or something. In any case, I pictured a big party where I could wander anonymously like a bald ghost.

Unfortunately, my friend had to back out at the last minute— but he said I’d still be on the list if I wanted to go it alone.

I had mixed feelings about it. I think it’s coolio and all to see celebrity people but it always makes me uncomfortable. Like if I’m in the room with the celebrity person– that celebrity is thinking they want to be somewhere else that doesn’t let people like me inside. Or they assume something has gone wrong with the door if a dwork like me is standing in the corner next to an over-piled plate of food– busily making a shirt stain worse with a napkin and club soda.

Anyway, I park the car and walk toward the place. There’s like bright lights and one of those backdrops people stand in front of. I wander up and see Sarah Silverman (full blast) standing infront of photographers doing poses and stuff. She looked pretty and dressed up nice nice. I looked at my near dirt-bag attire and banged my head for underdressing again. But WTF! In my head it was the Troubadour! Like some dive for bands! Not like a normal loungey place.

Anyway, within a minute or two– I see Gary Shandling walk in. He dressed nice. Jeffrey Ross stood in front of the photographers. He was also dressed up. Other familiar faced ‘what’s their name again?’ people were heading into the place. Everyone was at least ‘cool’ looking. I started feeling sweaty.

I check in with the doorgirl who can see that I’m looking and acting nervous. She asked me, ‘Do you know Sarah?’ (I’m thinking, ‘Umm… like from the TV? I know her from the TV? Oh! And I saw someone who I thought was her once but it turned out not to be her because this girl wasn’t her at all.) I tell her I don’t know Sarah personally. Doorgirl tells me this is, ‘… sort of an intimate thing for Sarah’s friends.. Sarah umm… kind of knows everyone inside.’ I was like, ‘Uh huh. Well that’s gonna change in a minute!’ Doorgirl told me I was welcome to go in– but just wanted me to know what I was getting in to. Which was actually nice-ish.

I poke my head in the door and take a quick look around. I was early-ish so the whole thing wasn’t in full swing at all. The place was small, boothy, and half-filled with semi-familiar semi-famous (and or ‘cool looking’) people. I looked at my shlumpiness and my know no-one ness and dorkiness– and just spun around and walked right out. I couldn’t deal. I hustled out past the doorgirl without making eye contact.

I know it’s kind of disappointing but to be honest I did feel like a total party crasher. And I just didn’t wanna be that guy. Plus, I’m not exactly social so I wouldn’t be talking to anyone anyway. I’d just be the guy people would wonder– ‘Ay… wtfs with that guy?’ and then eventually some bouncer dude would ask me if I could do him a ‘solid’ (hand on shoulder) by standing around looking weird outside instead me standing around looking weird inside– and that would be that.

So there was my brush with fame in LA! Maybe next time I’ll have more cohones to walk in and be the man. But first things first… I really need to buy myself one of those jacket blazer things.

ok bye!


R N says:

No big deal tOdd. Just remember next time someone invites you to a party such as that – dress for it. Are you going to do that same tactic during your official movie premiere?

WTF?!?!?!?!? says:

There was some major spanking going on back there. Trust me.

sm says:

Argh! You should have told me! I was there that night, we could have hung out.

Fresh Air says:

Isn’t a wonderful change of pace that we don’t have the Weeze and his freak brothers shouting “First” and other crap such as that?

WTF?!?!?!?!? says:

Absolutely. But thanks for the reminder anyway. Has he/she/it been blocked/banned/deleted/exterminated?

Fresh Air says:

Probably not. And I believe tOdd doesn’t really care. He loves the Sh$!t that person causes on this board.

nh curmudgeon says:

good call, Todd, IMMHO. A wise retreat usually beats a foolish charge. Better to be wondering if you should have gone in than to be wishing you hadn’t!

Jean_Phx says:

My brother once had that type of opportunity – to have dinner with George Clooney and his girlfriend at the time. And he too passed saying ‘I’d have a couple of beers with the guy but I don’t want to sit for 4 hours and $500 to have dinner with him’ – so I totally get what you’re saying. It’s just weird.

Goats says:

I’d probably have done the same. At least you peeked in…and knew it would have been awful. Your friend should have warned you.

Anonymous says:

Should have told her that you know a guy who had spanked her. That would have certainly got you in good with Ms. Silverman.

oddtodd7 says:

I do?

WTF?!?!?!?!?!? says:

Yeah, me… although she’d probably deny the whole thing while looking guilty, and then ask the bouncer to escort you outside… end of story.

KOOOL says:

Todd you should have stayed there! This was your chance to started some thing big in your life ! I guess. You and Sarah was on Comedy Central web site ! And you could say the Airport lost your bags when you came in to L A ! Well GOOD LUCK NEXT ! Todd ;P

jenuine says:

I’m a 38 year old Cali chick, not too bad looking (I hear cute is in)….and I do that sorta’ thing all the time. I’m never dressed nice enough or everyone just seems to belong there, except me.

I figure it’s a total mental thing and that if I were just more confident I could pull it off… but it seems like a lot of emotional effort for an iffy pay-off.

screw, stay home and have a beer!

MsM says:

When I feel awkward at a social gathering, I either start to draw with pencil & paper (I have a small sketch pad i can keep in my purse, or I take out my Tarot cards and start messing with them. Either way, someone pays attention to me and then I feel like I’m doing something to amuse …

WTF! says:

I just took a dump so big, It required me to get 6 stitches!

Moundy says:

Come on Todd, you’re a celeb! Jump on in and network. At worst you get ejected by Ms Silverman, how cool would that be!

the REAL weeze says:


Truth about the REAL weeze says:

You do realize that everyone here thinks you are an idiot

Anonymous says:

tOdd: Actually it’s “cojones” not “cohones”

Null says:

I feel kind of left out, as I’m fairly certain I’ve never heard of Sarah Silverman.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!? says:

She’s into being spanked. What more would you like to know?

Theguywhowonthefirstturkayhandcontest says:

Some thoughts: she’s a “celebrity” that wants everyone to pander to her needs, or
She’s a girl that is sick of everyone pandering to her needs.
Maybe she would have liked an awkward bald guy crashing her party. A welcome change? A break from people freaking about her celebrity? She wrote a book based on her bed wetting for crying out loud…
I get it though. You were uncomfortable. I probably would have done the same, being by myself.

[…] The Sarah Silverman Chicken-Out « […]

Whatever Works says:

Well. My .02: It’s your life; you do whatever feels most comfortable, causes the least amount of anxiety and doesn’t hurt others. Unless, of course, they deserve it. Then, fuck ’em. Wait, I lost my train of thought there.

T$ says:

Oh lordy. Sounds embarrasing and awkward! I hate that kind of situation! Next time don’t go if your friend backs out I guess, but it would have been hard to turn down a Sarah Silverman event!

veterinary technician says:

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Mr Bill says:

Uh yeah if I get invited to go to a “thing” (much less a “thing” with celeb types and skankwhores like Silverman) and my buddy who invited me to tag along bails out, it’s a given that I am not going. One must learn from one’s own mistakes.

I did something similar once (friend of a friend’s bachelor party, and of course my friend didn’t show up) and it ended up costing me $200 to buy dances for my new “friend”. What a waste of time and money. (And I heard the dude was divorced in like 6 months, what was the point? Apparently he had a thing for strippers…)

To sum up, just say NO to bastard friends that bail!

The Rat says:

This is totally going to get linked on skankadoo Silvermans twittered/facebooked page…

cna training says:

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Lisa says:

Whatever Todd…half of the people there probably hang out on your site all day! You’d have been the most famous guy there!

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