September 14 2012

The Secret Bugs in my iPhone 4

So I have an iPhone 4 and I think it’s great. Fine.

I like that it’s tough. I carry it caseless (fearlessly mobile commando). I’ve dropped it a bunch of times and it doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t crack. But more importantly, it does what I say. That’s pretty much all I can ask of any computer thingee. Just do what I say.

But lately, it’s been flaking a bunch. Buggy. Apps freeze while installing. It’s slower to start. The camera seems to take extra long to get going. The connection seems extra weak. Even for AT&T. Text messages don’t go through more often. Little things. All within the last few weeks.

So here’s my theory:

Apple recently sneakily released some very mild saboteur bugs into my iphone 4. Not enough to really disrupt things or break things… but jussst enough to make it seem like the phone is ‘going’. Small tweaks to throw it off-beat. Enough to establish a hint of motivation that mayyyybe it’s time for a new phone. Apple knows that I don’t have a 4S– I’m a prime target for the 5.

Why wouldn’t they do this?

I’m sure the hacker bugs they put into my phone had the ‘intention’ of doing something else. Fixing some security loophole or something. If they were discovered Apple would definitely have an excuse for their existence. They’d have an alibi. ‘Oh no, those?! Those were just fixing this critical portal core quad driver… We had no idea it disrupted the processor beam…’

I mean, why would anyone trust Apple at this point? They barely give any money to charity still. $110b in the bank and they give $100m? That’s it!? They don’t even have to pay their workers at Foxconn. Why not be questionable in other places morally?

I admit I am going to get the iPhone 5 asap — but I do so out of protest! Protest for Apple’s policy toward their workforce in China! Protest for their lack of charity too! Protest for their putting bugs in my iPhone 4! I go on record to say I support Apple under protest!

Unless someone can give me a solid reason to get a Droid…

ok bye!

PS. Btw, even though a friend of mine sent me a refurb Macbook a while back. When it came down to me getting a brand new super computer for myself…. Push came to shove…. I went back to PC. F Macs. PC’s are better.

My Samsung Gamer 7 kicks ass and I love it! Solid and fast as fk. Less expensive. Bigger screen. Bye Apple mistress chick. I’m back with PC, baby!


Anonymous says:

I don’t think it’s just the iPhone, my Blackberry started acting wonky about 6 weeks ago with emails and phone calls not going through. My contract was up in July and I’ve often wondered if this is just coincidence. Regardless, I just got a Samsung Galaxy S2 Skyrocket yesterday and it seems to be working better. Hmmm…hardware or big AT&T conspiracy?

Guest says:

Don’t get a driod. We don’t want your kind.

Anonymous says:

Too late. I’m not going to drink the Apple Kool-Aid.

Krankor says:

Your only leverage as a consumer is to vote with your pocketbook on issues you care about. By buying a new iPhone, you are telling them that the situation at Foxconn is OK with you. Think about it.


Brad says:

Apple has had some great products, solid and well built. The original iphone was very innovative. I had the first 3 gens. Only available on ATT at the time which got progressively worse reception in my area. I switched to verizon and a droid Incredible a couple years ago and haven’t looked back since. Just switched to the Samsung Galaxy S3. Iphone 5 looks great but seems like it’s trying to play catchup to the android phones that are out now. Since you’re on ATT you have the option of HTC One X or Galaxy S3 which are much better than the 4s and the specs I’ve seen for the 5.

Crapple Pot 5 says:

As with any computer, shut down and start at least once a week. Do a monthly back up and always keep it updated. Do a restore from time to time too. Also keep in mind planned obsolescence. Iphone 5 has quad core processor. Your’s only has a single core. Apps update for the faster processor so they will run slower and buggier on your phone no matter what you do. Get off the Crapple pot and go with Windows.

Anonymous says:

Samsung, son. its where its at

Odd Todd says:

I love my samsung laptop and my samsung tv… so is there a reason to get a samsung phone?

Android All the Way says:

Sound advice, Crapple Pot 5. But are you telling Todd to go with Windows Phone?

Crapple Pot 5 says:

I used my Windows phone exclusively now. Even though it’s the 7.5 version. I am going to get the Windows 8 version. It will just work seemlessly with Windows 8 tablet that I will get to replace my Crypad and Windows 8 for my laptop. I love Droid and Samsung and have had both but the Windows phone just feels right , it’s just a preference. He can’t go wrong with Droid or Samsung, since he’s already got the TV and PC.

Beth says:

Thanks for the great info dog I owe you biggtiy.

Rafiansyah says:

That’s a crackerjack answer to an inetresitng question

Sagar says:

You’re a real deep thinker. Thanks for sahring.

bd says:

I love my Samsung Galaxy S2. I’d get the Note or S3 if I was one of those constant new phone gettin’ people. Plus I have a nice case and a spare battery and double fat battery, both of which were really cheap. I love that Gorilla glass. Had the phone since last October and still not a scratch. I love not having to use iTunes. I drag and drop files onto the phone or the Micro SD card on it. I’ve had Apple people envying that big AMOLED screen. I like the micro USB hookup that’s inexpensive and common. I have a charger in 3 rooms and my car. I could go on…

Beth B says:

Good review of Samsung Galaxy!

Android Fan says:

I’ve never used a Windows Phone, so I can’t really offer an opinion on what it’s like. Upgraded from my Nokia 6131 (bought overseas) to an Alcatel OneTouch 908S almost a year ago. The OneTouch has version 2.2 of Android. It serves its purpose as I only use the device to check my e-mail.

I’ve read the specs for the Samsung Galaxy S3 (North American version). It’s a solid device. Read some reviews on Amazon. There are a segment of people saying that the S3 is fragile when dropped from desk height and the glass screen cracks.

Personally, I’m going to hold onto my Alcatel phone for another two years and then switch.

I’ll probably switch to a Nexus as its the developer device used by Google.

Marian says:

That’s way the bestest aesnwr so far!

FredwardJuniorthe2nd says:

get an android in you want a computer in your pocket, get the iphone if you want a toy.

Belinda says:

You’ve magenad a first class post

Magda says:

he’s 100 percent saseifitd with his purchase.As for me, I bought a Sony Ericsson w960i recently. Its looks and interface may not be that cool. But I’m a 100 percent saseifitd customer too. All because this little phone is feature-packed with Wifi, Chinese-English dictionary, Business Card scanner, timer, stopwatch, walkman, FM radio, etc.

The Future says:

True that FredwardJuniorthe2nd.

I wonder how many version of the iPhone Apple will crank out until they finally decide to stop.

Guest says:

They will crank out new versions as long as there are legions of idiots out there to buy them. If they took the iPhone 5, made it 1mm thinner and put a graphic symbol of a pancreas on the back calling it the iPhone 5c, they would have lines around the building with people wanting to switch from their “obsolete” iPhone 5.A fool and their money…

JAVA Programmer says:

From the looks of it, Apple will probably be releasing new models of the iPhone every one to two years.

MomCorp says:

This story reminds me of the eyePhone (parody from Futurama).

Oh Boy says:

I have a friend who owns an iPhone 4, 4S, and the Samsung Galaxy S3. I don’t understand how you can have all these devices and pay for the service.

Is it just me, or are people carrying these iPhone like its a fashion accessory?

Krankor says:

Better than carrying around a little accessory dog.

Anonymous says:

Now, THIS is what TechnoPhoneGeeks fantasize about while masturbating.

Your choices are simple, kiddies. Get a new phone… or get a life.

Apple Christ says:

The phone represents a deep seeded longing for acceptance. It is meerly a response to madison avenue frontal lobe freudian conditioning. It is a capitalist pacifier used to soothe and stabilize your programmed disociative conscious being. Should you be able to think with the whole mind and be aware of just how screwed your life is. You would instead buy weapons and crush the established social order of your enslavement. There is an app for that.

Guest says:


Betty says:

One or two to reemmber, that is.

Imagine... says:

if Todd buys his iPhone 5 and ends up with the same bugs on his previous model?

sm says:

I’ve had an old Samsung smartphone for years. It’s old and it’s still awesome. Plus, it’s GPS is way more advanced than anything the iPhone has done to date. Turn by turn real time directions, baby! From a sexy computer voice that I’ve named Karen! Oh…and it doesn’t suck nor is it from an evil company.

Princess says:

I believe Samsung is in the proecss of rolling out the Gingerbread (2.3) update now. You may be able to find a ROM online and flash your device, but that’s going to be tricky and probably won’t work to well. CyanogenMod, which is a popular custom ROM released for a lot of devices, isn’t quite working on the Galaxy Tab yet.

tubist says:

And, to make the conspiracy even more valid, I’m sure they are going by your registration date too. See, those of us who proudly purchased 4’s (not 4S’s) in July, are having noooo problems……….yet.

Phone Pro says:

I was a product manager for a major wireless company. (Now laid off). I’d buy the Nokia 920 (Windows 8) or if you are in a hurry, the Samsung S3 products are a fine choice. Android is pretty solid these days. I’ve used everything out there (It was my job) and I like Windows for it’s great ease of use and wireless sync. It’s really an elegant solution. However, if you’re into customization, you have to choose Android.

Amy says:

@Phone Pro:

I’ve did a comparison between the Nokia Lumia 920 and the Samsung Galaxy S3. The Lumia 920 is a solid device with a few features missing. Those features include the ability to listen to FM radio or view flash media on the browser. But those are minor things.

From what I’ve read the device is stronger and more durable compared to the S3.

I think I might take a look.

Btw, thanks for your insight Phone Pro.

Beth B says:

Love my Droid and I am a pro IT…but to each their own.

Amy says:

I’m curious about Windows Phone 8. I wonder if its going to be successful.

Kate the Great says:

That same thing has been happening to me lately too!! Dropping calls, texts not going through, the camera thing. Maybe it IS a sabotage!

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