December 12 2011

The Superhero Supply Showdown

So the other day I went into the Superhero Supply Co. to get some stuff for some people for holidaze. It’s place out here where Superheroes can go to get their supplies. There’s like capes and gear and lab supplies and stuff. I go there like once a year to stock up.

It looks like a pretty standard hardware store but it’s filled with super stuff. It’s good for Superheroes and wannabees. This time round I bought a can of Energy and a can of Doom.

Although I’ve never needed to open any can– if you shake it, it’s about 1/3rd filled with a sandy substance. In theory, if you’re a superhero in need of Energy. Or you want to throw some Doom all over somebody. That’s what this stuff is for. Supplies.

The people who work there take the place and products seriously but don’t play it up. As if they’ve been working there for years and see superheroes come in and out all the time. Same tone for both children and adults. The checkout process involves a “mysterious” vault. They made me use it.

Anyway, when I was in there the other day and this guy (adult – 30’s) starts questioning one of the store clerks. He holds up one of the ‘Negative’ cans.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Guy: So what’s in this?

Clerk: Doom. The other one is Gloom.

Guy: Yeah, but what’s in it?

Clerk: Doom. (The clerk points to the info on the side).

Guy: What do you do? Eat it?

Clerk: I wouldn’t eat it. It’s Doom. I wouldn’t recommend eating it. It’s more of a topical thing.

Guy: Like I rub it on my skin?

Clerk: I wouldn’t rub it on your skin. It’s Doom.

Guy: Yeah, but is it poison? What’s the deal?

(At this point, the store clerk is hitting the wall a bit in terms of answering questions like this for an adult.)

Clerk: You can use it at your discretion.

(Then the guy takes a can of ‘Anti-Matter’ off the shelf and shakes it. The same sandy stuff.)

Guy: So what’s in this one?

(The clerk just stares at him like…’Really, dude. Are we doing this?)

They also sell cans of ‘Intelligence’– I’m surprised the guy didn’t crack open and can right then and there and dump it on the guy…

ok bye!


PS. If you wanna know more about this place and what its really is– more info here. Tis a good cause front.


Sh!tForBra!ns says:

“Don’t open the boxes. Please consult store personel or use X-Ray Vision”.

LMFAO Thanks for making my day.

Anonymous says:

that story totally sucks.if that’s the best you can up with anymore oddtodd i’m just not going to return to this site. frankly i’d much rather fuck mr. deng right in his stupid fucking asshole.

Anonymous says:

Bye! Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out!

The real wedge says:

First shoes bobbies

Whitey D says:

They keep the matter next to the anti-matter? Isn’t that like dividing by zero?

Lorelei says:

LOVE it. Wanna go!

Anonymous says:

I thought you could only get that stuff from Acme !

spacetrucker says:


Can of intelligence……

Kinda like the television. I tried turning up the “brighness” knob but, that didn’t work.

cb1 says:

“I wouldn’t eat it. It’s Doom.”

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