So if I’ve been quiet lately it’s been because I’ve been finishing a movay script which I’ll talk about soon I promise.

The script is kind of a tricky kind of plot and I hit a bit of a writer’s block on it a few weeks ago. Went into a full blast panic about it and felt like I might have boxed myself into a corner. Kinda freaked out. Whatever.

Anyway, one day while procrastinating– I headed to the bodega to buy some junk food or something. I was looking for something to drink and I decided to go in on an energy drink.

I usually don’t like energy drinks much. Red Bull has no effect on me other than it makes me a little nauseous. I think Monster is gross. Most of the others I’ve tried taste like they’re secretly poison. But on this day there was one I hadn’t seen before.

It’s called Vita 500.

They brew this stuff up in Korea! Maybe North! No caffeine! No preservatives or whatever! Mysterious ingredients I never heard of! For whatever reason I decided to give it a try. On the checkout line I color coordinated the Vita 500 with a Butterfinger. It just seemed right. Like they matched or something…

I came home and stared at my computer drinking the Vita 500 and chomping on the Butterfinger — and I swear — it felt like a bright light third eye opened up in the middle of my head and started blinking. And like a coal miners helmet it lit the way through the writer’s block and delivered me safely on the other side.

After I typed up a whole bunch of stuff (like 25 pages)– I proceeded to clean my bathroom floor, scrub my kitchen floor, vacuum and I brushed Roscoe’s teeth. After I did that, showered, shaved, shaved my head, then cleaned the whole shower.

I know it sounds totally methed up– but it was!! And the next day. I went in on another Vita 500 and Butterfinger combo. Another hugely productive day. Again. Another. Then another. I was like, ‘Holy fruck! Screw ‘The Secret’! That old secret ain’t the sht now! The new secret is Vita 500 and Butterfinger!

But the other day, I went to the bodega and there was no more Vita! They had like 20 cans in the fridge just the day before– and now they were all gone! I was like, ‘Ahhh! Where’s the Vita 500!!!!?’ Bodega guy was like, ‘We have Red Bull?’ I was like, ‘No! No stupid Red Bull! VITA! VITA 500!’ He was like, ‘I’ll try to order more…’

I was like, ‘Try?!’

Then I got paranoid. They had like 20 cans the day before! Now they were all gone?! Either someone caught on to my Vita secret and bought them all up — OR Vita 500 has been quietly recalled for containing meth or something illegally meth like! How could they have sold all 20 cans in a day?!

The only site that seems to sell it online is this one! And there’s a minimum or of 300,000 cans! 300,000? Not even 100,000? Something is shady here! No other bodegas have the Vita! I’ve checked! And sadly today I tried a replacement combo — Red Bull and Crunch bar (color coordinated too) and it gave me nothing but a headache!

I might have to fly to Korea to pick up some of this stuff! I might be motivated to do just that — if I had some Vita 500 dammit!

ok bye!
tOdd

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