February 17 2012

We Need Something New for Women

So last night I was watching The Bachelor with the gf-f (go ahead and make fun but it’s a solid show) — and the Bachelor dope kept referring to all the contestants on the show as ‘women’. He’d say stuff like, “I can’t wait to go on my group date with those women.” Or, “There’s so many great women to choose from…” Or whatever.

But every time he said, “Women.” It didn’t sound quite right. Like maybe it was too formal. Just didn’t seem right for a group of dumb dumb chicks all jockeying over a dopey guy. “Women” doesn’t seem casual and fun. It seems like a part of a larger organization or something. Too important and strong. Or on the flip side– too associated with a bathroom door sign.

I guess it’s on a par with ‘Men’– but Men has ‘Guys’ as an alternative. And last night I realized that, women don’t have a good casual alt.

The closest to ‘Guys’ is ‘Gals’. But gals is a no-go. Gals works better in the context of, ‘The gals are all getting together to organize the bake-sale…’ Gals seems dated or maybe for older women or something— but besides ‘Gals’, everything else is condescending or too cutesy.

‘Chicks’ doesn’t make most ‘women’ happy. ‘Ladies’ has been stamped with sarcasm ‘Here come the Layydees…’ (Plus, it got ruined by the song Ladies Night). And there’s some Euro stuff out there like, ‘Lass’ or ‘Bird’– or you can kick it old school with ‘Dames’ or ‘Dolls’. But none of those are going to be a full-time replacement.

So I say it’s time to launch a solid counterpart to ‘Guys’ — so I’m not all distracted while watching my Bachelor tv show! Maybe I should contact the National Organization of Women to tell them to get cracking on this? Those chicks would have the clout to make something respectable stick.

ok bye!


Angry Man says:

You watch The Bachelor?????

Jim M says:

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Krankor says:

I like Coochie Mamas.

Anonopimp says:

Dees hoes better back up offa me

jergens lotion says:

your are a bitch for watching gay tv

Robin Jordan Henry says:

Since he refered to to them as “going out witth the women”, i can say as a woman myself, i would have prefered hearing “going out with the ladies”. All apples are not red, just as all women are not ladies. To me lady implies refinement good character, wisdom, gentleness, integrity. He could have given each benefit of the doubt by using “ladies” rather than women. After all it remains to be seen which are ladies and which are of the more global terrm women.

Skipjack says:

You forgot “broads”.

Anonymous says:

‘girls’ just has a great ring to it plus the girls love it when you call them girls. girls

Patrick says:

Todd, you should be worrying about more important than an alternative names for women. Have you thought that women don’t WANT to be called anything else. Go back and shut your Bachelor and shut up please and thank you.

Amy says:

Don’t worry what other people should be worrying about

Amy says:

Don’t worry ABOUT what other people should be worrying ABOUT

Anonymous says:

Take a page from our English friends: Bints, birds, slappers, tarts.

RIko says:

Gays is already taken, how about Guyas.

Anonymous says:

How about chicken head, is seems goods cause it works.

Patrick says:

[Brain Fart Correction] Todd, you should be worrying about more important thing than alternative names for women. Have you ever thought that women don’t WANT to be called anything else. Go back, watch your “Bachelor” and shut up.

Maybe you should be asking the Gf what she’d preferred to be called.

What’s next? Are Women turned on by the farts men make?

Todd, you’re impossible.

Guest says:

Lucky for you there are a billion other websites for you to spend your time on so we won’t expect to see your sorry ass around here any more. Hit the road Jack and don’t you come back no more.

Frank says:

National Organization of Women all agree the new thing to call woman is Cunts. With a capital C.

Me says:

How about Bitches. πŸ™‚

Kilter says:

If a butch lesbian takes it to the extreme and prefers to only fuck dudes with a strapon. Does that still maker her gay?

Anonymous says:

I was wondering the same thing, but differently. If a fudgepacker “accidentally” found himself in bed with a carpet muncher, would he flip her over and do her in the butt? And would she not consider it gay sex because it doesn’t involve carpet munching? Would it then make him and her staright, or at least bi?

Anonymous says:

Men / Women.
Guys / Woguys.

You’re welcome.

the REAL weeze says:


Anonymous says:


Bob in Peru says:

Wenches, Tarts, Trollops, Maidens, concubines,

Some Guy says:


Anonymous says:


Scientist Person says:

Estros (as in estrogen)

Anonymous says:

It really bugs me too. Its what he says about “the women” that is weird and the fact that he says it like 50 times during the show. Like, “I could really see myself falling for these women”. I feel like he is always reading a script, “I really want to see her open up to me”. “If we can do this, I think we can do anything together” Just the same stuff over and over.

paule says:

Men, Fems, I know brillant! Thank you.

Jayslickbalt says:


Concerned Pervert says:

I call ’em like I see ’em. \

Starbucks Drinker says:


The Rules says:

It doesn’t matter WHAT we call them. Remember “The Rules”? The Rules state that The Woman can change The Rules at any time as she sees fit, especially when it seems like The Man is about to figure out The Rules, and that any attempt by The Man to document The Rules could result in The Man getting his balls chewed off by The Woman. So if The Men figured out a new name for The Women, The Women would just smack The Men on the head with a tampon or something.

Anonymous says:

Is that a fact?

Helen Reddy says:

Suck on this:

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
’cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
’cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
’cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I’m still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

Anonymous says:

Dumb ho

Anonymous says:

” Dames ” nice and classic

Anonymous says:

“Dames”?!?!? Who are you, Frank Sinatra?

Anonymous says:

Is “pussies” not considered “politically correct” these days? As in “a bunch of pussies”?

Anonymous says:

I don’t know. Do you get mad when everyone calls you a pussy or have you just learned to accept it?

Office Worker says:

Women do what they want (in Western society).

Dr. Dre says:

Bitches aint nothing but hoes and tricks.

Helen Ready says:

I am woman, hear me roar,
Cause I’m a low-down filthy whore…

Akasha says:

I prefer Lady. I try to hold myself as a lady, so there. But sometimes if I’m feeling sassy then Dame, but then again going old school I kinda like Chick

Concerned Pervert says:

The title of the post is “We need something new for women”

May I suggest my engorged meat pole to any of you “ladies” that haven’t experienced the joys of it yet?

That’ll take you someplace new.

Female says:

Women like being called “girls” as much as men like being called “boys”.

Anonymous says:

Not true. Call a man a boy and you’ve instantly insulted his penis size.

mike says:

c’mon yous guys. Broads, they’re called broads.

Timmy says:

Skeezers they are called skeezers. Skeezas if you’re feeling feisty..

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