August 24 2011

Why Apple Doesn’t Donate to Charity (*repost)

(I posted this briefly a couple days ago and then felt weird about. And now that the announcement came out yesterday that Jobs was stepping down as CEO I was sort of glad I took this post down. Bad taste or whatever. But it was weirdly timely that I posted it the other day considering the recent news. Not sure what now. So imagine this post isn’t here…)

So I’ve been reading for a while that Apple doesn’t donate much to charity. (Plus, they make things difficult or impossible for charities to create fundraising apps). Apple might through some ipads around here or there but for the most part they seem like a pretty stingy company in terms of giveback. Like Bill Gates does alot of stuff and runs around with mosquito nets or whatever– but Jobs? Apple? What do they do?

Before you go thinking there’s no excuse– here’s a theory. I’m suspecting Apple may be funneling all profits into one source. One single priority project. I’m thinking in the secret backwoods at Apple, all resource and revenue is going into one Jobs driven project. A robot. As we know, Steve Jobs is unfortunately very sick and that must certainly piss him off to no end. All these resources. All this technology and genius and money– and he’s constantly distracted by his ridiculous failing body? Sucks. No doubt there.

I gotta think a guy like that is obsessed with creating a robot where he can transfer his brain and live forever (or at least another 100 years or so). This may sound like an obnoxious joke but I honestly believe there’s some project going on where Jobs can transfer out. Why wouldn’t he?

Also, how complicated can it really be? Brain goes out. Brain goes in. Turn on switch. Sure, at first it might be one of those robots that work like Captain Pike from Star Trek– but that would be just a start. Beta or whatever. And he’d still be able to work his magic from his new body locale.

So my prediction is that soon it will be revealed that Apple is hard at work at some Brain Transference Operation Project (or B-TOP) to become iJobs– and sometime in the near future (probably around the time of the iPad 7) — a black turtlenecked robot will come out in jeans and present the latest and greatest thing. Himself. And we’ll all understand why Apple could nowadays qualify for an episode of Hoarders– hoarding all its money like Scrooge McDick.

ok bye!

PS. Info about Apple and charity is here


None of That says:

Do you really belive this?

Jim M says:

Man doesn’t even understand how a neuron functions much less the entire brain. Then there’s the transfer issue.

This came to mind on the Microsoft \ Apple charity issue.

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

None of That says:

I don’t understand the relevance of the fish

Rusty Trombone says:

He is suggesting nobody should receive charity. He thinks people might as well starve today since they will still be starving tomorrow. What he is leaving out is that a good charity provides fish for today, a pole and bait, and teaches the man to fish.

AnonoAppleFan says:

YOU were right the first time. This post sounds obnoxious.

Concerned Parent says:

I found this post to be PROFOUNDLY unfunny.

WhateverBoy says:

Lighten up idiots

Rusty Trombone says:

There was nothing obnoxious about this post. CNN did a similar article the other day about Steve Jobs and Apple giving nothing to charity. Of course the “I’m the center of the universe” generation will not like anything that doesn’t directly benefit them but they’ll forget about it in a few seconds when they remember they need to check their Facebook page for the twentieth time this hour to see how many people liked the picture of their lunch they posted today.

Data says:

You are forgetting Todd, the science hasn’t scratched Android robotics.

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